I Don't Want To Be Alone
by Beckii
Summary: AU Buffy's parents died in a car accident,with no other family she goes to live in a foster home.There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy,Spike.But what happens when Spike leaves?She fears she will be alone.!Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Buffy Summers walked into a dark, smokey house. An older woman walked in front of her, talking but Buffy had blocked her out long ago. Only did she catch Buffy's attention when she stopped. "Now this here is Nakesha and Lisa's room." She explained, pointing to a room with two baby cribs in it. "They're the babies and you'll be assigned a time when you got to look after them." Buffy was silent. "Did you get that?" "Huh? Oh ya, babies, time." "Good, now come on. I'll show you you're room." As she followed the woman down the hall she looked in every room, each looked the same, one dresser and two beds. The woman stopped again and opened a door. "This here is your room. You're sharing with Niki and by the way, I'm Marge." She slammed the door, causing Buffy to jump. "You'll get used to her." Niki said, laying spread out across her bed. "I'm Niki." "B-Buffy." "What brings you to out humble home?" "My-My parents are dead." There was a long silence and Buffy sat on her bed, taking great interest in her hands. "I'm sorry. Mine are too." Said Niki. "Its okay. Sorry about your parents." A loud bell rang and Buffy jumped up off the bed. "Chill girl, its dinner time." "I'm not hungry. I'll get something later." "There is no later. Next things breakfast. So c'mon, we're not that bad."  
  
Hands grabbed at food from every direction. 15 people sat in chairs around a long table, all different in their own ways. At the sight, Buffy started to lose her appetite. "Is there some other place I can go?" She asked Niki. "Ya, the Chill Room." Niki explained to her where it was so she went.  
  
2 large blue couches and 6 green chairs were scattered around the blue walled room. Buffy sat down on one of the couches and turned the T.V on. It was black and white and only had 3 channels so Buffy decided to turn it off. "Not the greatest is it luv?" She looked up and a blonde haired boy entered the room, taking a seat next to her. "Names Spike." "Buffy. Why aren't you." "Eating? Kind of hard to. I always sneak something later." "Oh." He checked her over, admiring her beautiful figure. Their eyes locked and he leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled back. Feeling rejected he got up and left. 


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy sat on her bed, facing her new friend, Niki. She was asking her about the blonde boy she had had an encounter with earlier. "Spike. He's kind of a full of himself, girl lover. Like obsessed." Niki said.  
  
"He seemed kinda quite."  
  
"Spike? Blonde hair, blue eyes? Can't be."  
  
Buffy laughed. "Ya, so how come he's here?" Asked Buffy.  
  
"His parents are splitting up and he's in trouble with the cops so they sent him here for awhile. He's so mean, the way he talks about his parents. At least he has parents."  
  
'Knock'. The door opened and there stood no other then Spike. "Niki do you have the C.D player?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Give it here."  
  
"Hold on."  
  
He came in and shut the door. "Hello Buffy." He greeted.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Me and Buffy were just talking about you." Niki said as she sorted through her closet.  
  
"Ya? Bout what?"  
  
"Oh Buffy why don't you fill him in."  
  
"No.no I."  
  
"Oh c'mon luv. What were you two chatting about?" He said, sitting next to her on the bed.  
  
"Niki here was just explaining to me how full of yourself you are. Right Nik?"  
  
Niki stood up, holding the C.D player. "Huh? Oh that. Well Spike, you are a bit full of yourself."  
  
"Thanks." He said sarcastically as took the C.D player and walked out.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later that night while everyone was in bed asleep Buffy layed awake. Her stomach was growling and it was keeping her up. Quietly she slipped out of the room and headed to the kitchen. It was really dark and she couldn't see anything so she had to feel her way around. She thought it was the fridge she had bumped into but it was moving. She let out a little scream and flicked a light on.  
  
"Spike?" She said, trying to catch her breath.  
  
"Buffy fuck! Why'd you scream? Now we're going to get in shit." He yelled.  
  
"I screamed because duh! You scared me shitless!" Buffy screamed back at him.  
  
"Shhh." He said, putting his finger up to her lip. He turned the light off and everything disappeared. "Be quiet and go back to your room."  
  
She looked at the food he had in his hands. "No, you're the one with food."  
  
"Fine, come back to my room. But when you're done eating."  
  
"Jeez, its not like I want to."  
  
"Well I don't want you to."  
  
"Well to bad because I am." They argued.  
  
"Fine." Spike said, having the last word.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Spike flopped down on his bed and turned the little light in his room on. Buffy noticed he didn't have a roommate and asked. "Why don't you have a roommate?"  
  
"Just didn't give me one yet I suppose." Spike said.  
  
"Oh, pass some food here." Buffy said.  
  
"No its my food, I stole it." Spike said. "You come over here."  
  
"Fine." Buffy said and sat next to Spike. She took a pudding. She dug into it with her finger and made a noise of delight. Spike stopped eating and looked at her. He wanted so bad to kiss her, but why had she pulled back earlier?  
  
"Can I ask you something?" Spike asked.  
  
"Ask away." Buffy said, licking her finger clean.  
  
"Why did you pull away when I went to kiss you?"  
  
"Maybe because I didn't know you." Buffy said, licking more pudding off of her finger.  
  
"So?" He asked.  
  
"So? So I don't really feel like kissing some guy that I don't even know. And from the things Niki tells me I don't want to know." Buffy said.  
  
"What exactly does she tell you pet?" Spike said getting very curious.  
  
"That you're here because you're parents are going through a divorce and you're in trouble with the law and that you always talk shit about your parents. That you are obsessed with girls in a non normal way and that you're full of yourself." Buffy retold what Niki had said.  
  
"And you believe her?" Spike asked.  
  
"What else am I supposed to believe?"  
  
"Me."  
  
"But you never." Buffy said but Spike cut her off.  
  
"First part is right okay? I hate my parents with a passion. Second part isn't right. I'm not that kind of guy honestly. I just.there was something different about you." Spike said.  
  
"Different.but listen your parents might not be the best alright but at least you still have them!" Buffy said tears almost forming when the images of her parents flashed before her.  
  
"Look I didn't know that your parents.I'm sorry." He said.  
  
"Its not your problem. Thanks for the food but I should get back, wouldn't want you to see me cry now would I?" She said with a fake laugh and he watched her as she left his room.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Spike lay awake on his bed. He felt bad for bringing back the memory of Buffy's parents to her and for some reason didn't want to think of her crying. He wanted to hold her if she was and tell her it would be okay. Slowly, unsure he got up from his bed and headed to Buffy's bedroom. The door creaked open and you could her a little sob coming from a corner in the dark. "Buffy?" Spike asked quietly. There was no answer, just a sniff and Spike continued walking towards the noise. "Buffy are you okay?" He asked.  
  
"Spike?" A small voice asked.  
  
"Its me pet. I came to see if you were all right. I didn't mean to upset you." He said, sitting next to her on the bed, his eyes finally adjusting to the dark.  
  
"I'm okay." She said.  
  
"But you're crying." He said.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Come here." He said and pulled her into his arms. He rocked her back and forth.  
  
"Why are you being so nice to me?" She asked curiously as the tears stopped.  
  
"I-I don't know." He laughed. They both looked to Niki's bed when she stirred. Thinking she was asleep Spike said. "Did you have enough to eat?"  
  
"Can you two go to Spike's room if you're going to keep talking? Some people are trying to sleep." Niki said, pulling her covers over her head.  
  
"Sorry." Buffy said and followed Spike out to his room. 


	3. Chapter 3

When they got back to Spike's room he closed the door and the two sat on his bed. "So, where were we?" Spike said.  
  
"You asked me if I had enough to eat. To answer that question I never have enough to eat." Buffy said.  
  
"I see we have something in common." Spike said.  
  
"That's a first." Buffy said and there was a silence. The kind where neither person knows what to say. Buffy looked to Spike and watched him stare at his wall. When he looked to her, she looked away. This went on for several seconds before they ended up locking eyes. It shocked him when Buffy leaned in for a kiss but he responded to it. It was a passionate kiss, one that sent Buffy into complete ecstasy. His hands traveled over her perfectly shaped body and it made her feel warm inside. She pulled back and they stared at each other. "Want to stay for the night luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Spike.I'm not." She said.  
  
"No no, do you want to just lay?" He asked. She smiled and laid down next to him.  
  
~*This is a very very short chap but I will update sooner with short chapters and I just find it easier*~ 


	4. Chapter 4

Buffy woke up and found herself laying on Spike's bare chest. It took her a minute to remember what happened and when she did a smile appeared on her lips. That kiss, the way he touched her, made her feel like her life made sense again. His eyes fluttered open and he too was smiling. "Morning Spike." She said.  
  
"Mornin luv." He said and sat up, next to her.  
  
"I should get back to my room before they see I'm in here. I'm sure Nikki will cover for me till then." Buffy said, standing up.  
  
"Alright. See you at breakfast." Spike said.  
  
"Yep. Bye." She said and quietly left the room. Spike laid back down and closed his eyes, maybe this place wasn't going to be so bad anymore.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy and Nikki said in the Chill Room watching some movie. She had seen Spike at breakfast and they didn't talk, just exchanged glances. Buffy looked to the door and saw Spike and some other guy. He had brown hair and was wearing a blue exhaust sweater and baggy jeans. Spike on the other hand was in all black. "Hey, can we join?" Spike asked.  
  
"I don't see why not." Nikki said.  
  
Spike and his friend sat on opposite ends of the girls. Spike by Buffy and the other guy by Nikki.  
  
"Have you met Xander?" Spike asked Buffy.  
  
"Nope." She answered.  
  
"Oh, well he's Xander." Spike said, pointing to the brown haired boy.  
  
"Hello." Buffy said.  
  
"Hey." Xander said, giving Buffy a small nod and turned to the TV.  
  
"How are you?" Spike asked Buffy, putting his arm around her.  
  
"Fine, you?" She asked.  
  
"Good." He said.  
  
"Shut up. I like this movie." Nikki said.  
  
"Oh come on, you've seen it at least five times luv." Spike said.  
  
"Shut up Mr. Passions." Nikki said.  
  
"Don't diss that show pet." He said, passions being one of his favorite soaps. Buffy giggled. "Something funny?" Spike asked.  
  
"N-No. Nothing at all." She said, holding it back.  
  
"Thought so." Spike said.  
  
The movie ended and Nikki stood up.  
  
"I'm going to go play some basketball. Anyone brave enough to try and beat me is welcome to join." She said and began to walk out.  
  
"I'm in." Xander said and jumped out.  
  
"We'll be out in a second." Spike said.  
  
"We will?" Buffy asked, confused as she watched the two leave the room.  
  
"Yes. We need to talk first. About last night." He said.  
  
"What about it?" Buffy asked, pretending like nothing happened.  
  
"The food, the kiss, the sleeping, the everything. Didn't you feel anything luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Maybe, but I'm not ready to rush into anything Spike, sorry." She said and stood up. He followed her out and Buffy stopped, watching Xander and Nikki play one on one. "Can I play?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Sure, Spike you in? We could play girls against boys." Nikki said.  
  
He looked from Buffy, then back to Nikki. "I'm in pet. And me and Xan here will show you ladies how the game is played."  
  
Buffy laughed and headed over to her friend. The boys gave the girls the ball first, saying it wouldn't be fair if they started off with it. Nikki laughed, but took it, thinking that them being wrong would be fun to rub in their faces. They played for a half an hour before stopping for a break. The score was 12-13 for the boys. Buffy and Nikki ran into the house to get some water bottles for them and the guys.  
  
"Think we have a chance?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Oh yeah. You think I actually tried to block his shot?" Nikki laughed. "I just want them to think they're winning, then when they lose it will be funner."  
  
Buffy laughed. "You're evil. Pure evil."  
  
"I know." Nikki said and followed Buffy back out to the driveway.  
  
After a quick break they started again. At the end, the girls proved them wrong and kicked their asses, 35-42.  
  
"Oh yeah. Who won?" Nikki sang as she did a little victory dance. "Who's the best? Oh yeah."  
  
"You won. You're the best." Xander said, tired.  
  
"Thank you. How about you Spike? Got anything to say?" Nikki asked.  
  
"We'll beat you next time." Spike said.  
  
"Right." Nikki said and they walked inside.  
  
They all sat down around the Chill Room. Nikki and Buffy on one couch, Xander and Spike on another.  
  
"So what do you guys want to do now?" Nikki asked.  
  
"I don't know. I want to sleep. Are we allowed to go to sleep?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, when you're done your chores." Xander said.  
  
"Chores?" Buffy asked. "How come we haven't done any yet?"  
  
"We don't do them till noon. She puts up a sheet, we do the chores. Then we can do whatever we want. Even go outside, but we have a curfew, 7." Nikki explained.  
  
"Oh. What time is it?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Only 11:00 luv. I suppose you could go to sleep till 12." Spike said.  
  
"I think I will." Buffy said and stood up.  
  
"Have a good sleep." Nikki said.  
  
"I will." Buffy said and walked to her room.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy felt someone shaking her. She opened her eyes and Spike stood over her. "What?" She said sleepily and rolled over.  
  
"Time to wake up luv. You have some chores to do." Spike said, shaking her gently again.  
  
"No. Do I have to?" She asked.  
  
"Yes you have to. Now get up if you don't want to be yelled at." Spike said.  
  
"Fine, I'm going." She said, standing up, still in her clothes from earlier. A pair of blue sweats and a light blue tank top. She had her hair up from the game and decided to keep it that way for her chores.  
  
~*~Hey! I know, haven't updated in awhile but you know. Exams, lots of studying. All right, I hope you like this chappy and if you do review! Haha that rhymes~*~ 


	5. Chapter 5

Buffy flopped down on to the couch in the Chill Room. She had finished her chores and was so tired. Nikki had finished before her and went to bed, but Buffy wasn't tired. She looked up and saw Spike and Xander walking into the room. They sat down on the opposite side of the room and started talking. Buffy tried not to watch, but felt her eyes traveling over to them. She saw Spike standing and he walked over to her.  
  
"Hello luv. How were your chores?" Spike asked, sitting next to her.  
  
"Not to bad." Buffy lied. "Yours?"  
  
"You get used to them." He said. "How about that rematch? Or are you too tired?"  
  
"No! But Nikki is." Buffy said.  
  
"Then it will be one on one. You and me." He said.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy said.  
  
"Thought so." Spike said.  
  
"Excuse me? You're on." She said, standing and walking out.  
  
The two moved out onto the driveway and began playing. The game went on before Spike called for a break. The score was left at a tie, 16-16.  
  
"God it's hot." He said, removing his shirt.  
  
Buffy stared at his chest. "Guess so." She said. "Breaks over." She grabbed the ball and walked out onto the "court".  
  
"Not so fast pet." Spike said and grabbed her around her waist. She screamed, laughing at the same time.  
  
"Spike!" She turned around, making it into a hug. She stared into his blue eyes. "That was fun." She laughed and he kissed her. She didn't hold back, or try to stop it. She put all of her energy into the kiss and when she pulled away, the two were breathless. He leaned in to kiss her again but she stopped him. "What about the game?"  
  
"Lets call it a tie." He said.  
  
"But." He cut her off by kissing her.  
  
It felt so good, Buffy didn't want to stop it but when she heard someone yelling at them, she pulled back, pushing Spike away. Marge came walking over to them.  
  
"And what do you think you two were doing?" She asked.  
  
"Uh. Kissing?" Spike said.  
  
"Don't be a smart ass Spike. You know it's against the rules. Both of you and grounded for one week, no leaving the property." She said and stormed back into the house.  
  
"Who cares?" Spike said, putting his shirt back on.  
  
"Not me." Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah, it was worth it." His comment made Buffy blush. "Buffy?"  
  
"That's me." She said.  
  
"When our grounding is over, do you maybe want to go to a movie or something?" He asked.  
  
"Oh Spike . I don't . Its not that I don't want to ." She said.  
  
"Then why not luv? If you don't want to, just say it." Spike said.  
  
"Okay." She said.  
  
"What?" He asked.  
  
"I'll go out with you." Buffy said. "To a movie or something."  
  
"Great." He smiled and walked over to her.  
  
"Yeah. I'm going to go get some sleep. I'll see you around." Buffy said and walked off to her room.  
  
~*~  
  
A week went by fairly quickly. Buffy spent most of her time, doing chores, talking with Nikki or sleeping. She hadn't talked to Spike much, a hi there a hi here. She was sitting on her bed, across from Nikki.  
  
"So, you and Spike huh?" Nikki said.  
  
"Yeah. I don't know. I'm not ready to be in a relationship. I just said yes, cause I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I just can't be in a relationship right now." Buffy said.  
  
"You should have turned him down then, now you're just going to hurt him more." Nikki said.  
  
"I know Nik, but I cant. I can't look him in the eye and tell him I don't want to go out with him, because I do. I just . not right now." Buffy said.  
  
"I can for you." Nikki offered.  
  
"Thanks, but I don't think that's the right way." Buffy said and there was a short silence.  
  
"I saw you two making with the smoochies."  
  
"What? When?" Buffy asked.  
  
"The court. You were wrapped up in his strong arms, his naked chest, glistening in the sun." Nikki said.  
  
"Shut up." Buffy said and threw a pillow at her. "I should get ready. We're going out in like half an hour." Buffy said.  
  
Nikki helped Buffy pick out an outfit after about fifteen minutes of looking. She decided on a short cotton pink skirt and a pink top with CUTE written on it.  
  
"You look hot Buff." Nikki said.  
  
"You think?" She asked, checking herself over in the mirror.  
  
"Yeah, Spike will want to take those clothes off pretty quickly." She joked.  
  
"Nikki." Buffy said and stopped when there was a knock on the door. "That would be him. See you Nik." Buffy said and went to the door. She opened it and there stood Spike. He was dressed in a pair of baggy jeans and a black t-shirt with a jean jacket over it.  
  
"Hello luv. You look beautiful." He said.  
  
"Thank you. You look beautiful too." She said, walking out of the room.  
  
~*~  
  
The movie theatre was full of people, ranging from young couples, to seniors. Buffy and Spike got their tickets for 2 Fast 2 Furious and headed into cinema number 3. They picked two seats in the middle, closer to the back, on the side.  
  
"Do you want anything luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"No thanks, but you can go get something." Buffy said.  
  
"I'm fine." Spike said and sat back in his chair.  
  
"Spike?" Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah pet?"  
  
"I just wanted to say something." She said quietly.  
  
"And what's that?" He asked.  
  
"I wanted to let you know that this date, doesn't make us official or anything. I told you before I don't want to rush into anything and I'm just not ready to be in a relationship. Don't take it the wrong way, please." Buffy said.  
  
"That's okay luv. I can wait." Spike said and Buffy smiled.  
  
The movie ended and they were walking back to the home when two people approached them, a young dark haired boy and girl.  
  
"Hello Spike." The boy said.  
  
"Angelus." Spike said. "Faith, how are you?"  
  
"You know, five by five. Who's that?" She asked, nodding her head towards Buffy.  
  
"Faith, Angel, this is Buffy. Buffy this is Faith and Angel." Spike said.  
  
"A warning, don't get to close to him, he's not for real." Faith said.  
  
"Buffy, don't listen to them." Spike said.  
  
"Why not William? I think the young lady can decide for herself." Angel said.  
  
"We should get going luv." Spike said, taking her hand and walking away.  
  
"Who were they?" Buffy asked, as they walked.  
  
"Faith and Angelus." Spike said.  
  
"Yeah, I got that. Who are they? How do they know you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Old friends okay? Lets drop it." Spike said and increased the pace.  
  
Buffy just let it slide, what did Faith mean when she said not to get to close, that he wasn't for real. Was she telling the truth, did she know from experience? These questions haunted Buffy's mind as they made their way back to the home.  
  
~*~Hey, short chap, but I will update sooner. Review please(~*~ 


	6. Chapter 6

"Hey Buffy!" Nikki yelled, running over to her friend that was just finishing putting the babies down for their nap.  
  
"Hey Nikki. What's up?" Buffy asked, taking her friend to the Chill Room.  
  
"Nothing, just wanted to say hi." Nikki said.  
  
Buffy laughed. "Hey."  
  
"So, how was your date?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Good." Buffy said.  
  
"Just good? I want details girl." Nikki said and sat facing Buffy.  
  
"Well, we went to the movies, it was nice, then we were walking home and we ran into this couple. Their names were Faith and Angel or something. Spike got really offensive when I asked about them." Buffy said.  
  
"Faith and Angelus?" Nikki asked, like she knew them.  
  
"Yeah, have you heard of them?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, everyone knows about them around here." Nikki said.  
  
"Mind telling me?" Buffy asked, desperate.  
  
"Sure. Uh, well, you might not want to hear this but Faith and Spike went out, for a while. Spike got Faith pregnant and now she's going out with Spike's stepbrother Angel." Nikki said.  
  
"Oh." Buffy said. 'That's what she meant by don't get to close,' she thought. "What happened? To the baby?"  
  
"Abortion." Nikki said.  
  
"Oh. That explains a lot." Buffy said. "Why did they break up?"  
  
"They didn't. Spike left her when he found out. She thought that he would stay with her, but he didn't, he just left her and the baby."  
  
Buffy was shocked, that's what Faith meant by he's not for real. Damn it. What was with her? Was she a magnet for bad guys or something?  
  
"Buffy, are you going to be okay?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't let myself get close." She lied. "So it shouldn't be hard to forget about him." She lied again.  
  
"Buffy ." She said.  
  
"I'm fine Nikki. Really. I'm just tired. I'm going to go to bed. Night. Or afternoon." They smiled and Buffy headed to her room when she ran into someone. She looked up and her green eyes met with blue ones. "Spike." She said.  
  
"Hello." He said.  
  
"I have to, um, go to bed now. I'm tired. Bye." Buffy said and started walking away when he grabbed her arm.  
  
"What's wrong luv?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing. I'm just tired." She said, trying to free herself but it was no use. "Let me go Spike."  
  
He looked down to her arm, which he held. "Sorry pet." He said and watched her walk away.  
  
~*~  
  
Nikki was sitting in a chair in the Chill Room, watching the movie she loved, A Walk To Remember when Spike came in.  
  
"Nikki, what did you tell Buffy about me now?" He asked, angry.  
  
"What are you talking about Spike?"  
  
"She's not talking to me. Well she is but not like yesterday." He said.  
  
"How do you know I did anything?" Nikki asked. "Maybe she just doesn't like you."  
  
"Nikki . please." Spike said.  
  
"Fine. She asked about Faith and Angel, I told her." She said.  
  
"Fuck!" He yelled and ran out of the room. "Buffy! Open up!" Spike yelled from the other side of her door.  
  
"What do you want?" She yelled back.  
  
"To talk. Please luv, let me explain." He said.  
  
"Nikki, I'll kill her." She whispered. "Why should I? There's nothing to explain? You left Faith when she was pregnant. End of story." Buffy said.  
  
"It wasn't my baby." Spike said.  
  
"Like hell it wasn't." She said.  
  
"Buffy, please, unlock the door." He begged.  
  
"No."  
  
"I'll get Marge." He said, serious.  
  
"I don't care. Go fetch her." She said and there was no response. Buffy thought she'd won when the door opened and Spike came in, Marge behind him.  
  
"Thank you ducks." He said and she left.  
  
"You actually want to talk that bad huh?" Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah I do luv." He said, sitting on her bed.  
  
"Well, talk. How was it not your baby? You guys had sex didn't you?" She asked.  
  
"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean its mine. Faith was sleeping with at least two other guys while I was with her. It wasn't my baby, I know." Spike said.  
  
"Okay, so it wasn't your baby." Buffy said.  
  
"Are you still mad?" He asked.  
  
"I was never mad, just I can't be with you Spike, I'm sorry. Leave, please." She said, tears forming when she saw the hurt in his eyes.  
  
"Buffy, give me a chance to prove to you I'm good. Please." Spike said.  
  
"I'll think about it. I just want to sleep right now." She said.  
  
"Alright pet, night." He said and left.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy said.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy woke up the next morning after sleeping the rest of the previous day away. She got up and changed into a pair of blue cotton shorts and a light blue tank top. Nikki was still asleep and it was early, around seven o clock but Buffy couldn't sleep. Quietly she snuck out of her room and headed to the Chill Room to watch some TV. She stopped in the doorway, Spike had beat her to it. He looked like he hadn't slept, he was still in his clothes from yesterday and he kept falling asleep but waking up again.  
  
"Maybe you should go get some sleep." Buffy said and he turned his head.  
  
"I can't sleep." He said.  
  
"Whatever." Buffy said and sat next to him.  
  
"Did you think about it?" Spike asked.  
  
"Yeah." She said. She'd thought about it a lot.  
  
"And?"  
  
"And, I'm not sure. Spike, I don't . I'm not ready to be in a relationship, but for now, I'd like it if we could be friends." Buffy said.  
  
"I guess that's all I'm going to get huh pet?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah. Sorry Spike, I really am." She said.  
  
"I understand." He said. "So what are you doing up?"  
  
"Couldn't sleep." She said.  
  
"Want to go for a walk?" He asked.  
  
"Are we allowed?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I don't know, we'll find out." He said.  
  
Buffy smiled. "Sure." She said and followed him out.  
  
The sun was rising and it was beautiful. There were few lights on in the other houses and the street was silent, no cars, and no kids. Spike and Buffy walked side by side.  
  
"So Spike, how long have you been here?" Buffy asked.  
  
"About a week longer then you luv. Why?" He said.  
  
"I don't know, just making conversation." She said.  
  
"Aright." He said. "So, how old are you Buffy? We don't really know a lot about each other huh?" They laughed.  
  
"Guess not. I'm sixteen, you?" She asked.  
  
"Seventeen." He said. "When's you birthday, place of birth, do you have any siblings, what's you middle name?" Spike asked.  
  
"January 14 1986, L.A, yes, Anne. You?"  
  
"November 22 1985, England, yes, don't got one." Spike said.  
  
"You don't have a middle name?" She asked.  
  
"Nope. Just William Giles." He said.  
  
"Oh. Its nice." Buffy said.  
  
"So, what about this sibling you have luv? She's not here with you." Spike said.  
  
"She . Someone adopted her. I haven't seen her since my parents died. She was my twin." Buffy said. "Her name was Dawn."  
  
"They separated you two? Why just her adopted?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well, the family only wanted one, a dark haired girl, not a blonde. It was funny, Dawn put up a fight but then she had to go, I told her to." Buffy said, smiling at the memory of her sister. "What about you?"  
  
"Well, I have Riley, my little brother, Tara, my little sister, then there's my bloody stepbrother Angelus." He said.  
  
"Why isn't he in a foster home?" Buffy asked.  
  
"He was, then he turned eighteen and moved out to his own apartment, can't say I'm sad to not see him everyday." Spike said.  
  
"What about the others, Tara and Riley?" She asked.  
  
"Back in England with my mum. My dad moved out here two years ago, I came with him. That's when he started shagging Peaches mom." He said.  
  
"Peaches, is that Angelus?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Maybe we should go back, I don't want to get grounded again. I was planning on going out with Nikki tonight. Do you want to come? You could bring Xander if you want." Buffy said.  
  
"Sure luv." Spike said and they turned around.  
  
~*~  
  
The Bronze was full of young couples dancing and having fun. Buffy, Nikki, Xander and Spike all sat down around a table.  
  
"Hey Nikki, want to dance?" Xander asked.  
  
"Sure Xan." She said and followed him to a space on the floor.  
  
"You look great." Spike said to Buffy. She was wearing a short black skirt with a red tank top.  
  
"Thanks. You look nice too." Spike was wearing a pair of baggy black jeans and a black sweater.  
  
"Want to dance luv?" He asked.  
  
"Uh, sure." Buffy said and followed him out to a space next to Xander and Nikki.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her waist and she wrapped hers around his neck.  
  
~Ain't no personal thing boy  
  
But you have to stay away  
  
Far, far away from my heart, my heart  
  
Don't you know what your kiss is doing?  
  
Let me tell it to you from the start boy  
  
I don't want to fall in love, no no  
  
Love cuts just like a knife, woo woo  
  
You make the knife feel good baby  
  
I'll fight you to the end  
  
You've been hanging around boy  
  
And you have starting sinking in  
  
Whoa baby you're way out of line now  
  
Unaware how this all got started  
  
Let me tell it to you one more time baby  
  
I don't want to fall in love, no no  
  
Love cuts just like a knife, woo woo  
  
You make the knife feel good baby  
  
I'll fight you to the end  
  
I learned something about myself  
  
Last night with you I knew  
  
I didn't want nobody else  
  
And you're scaring me to death now baby~  
  
A small tear trickled down Buffy's cheek. This song was explaining the way she felt, why this song? Why now?  
  
~I don't want to fall in love, no no  
  
Love cuts just like a knife, woo woo  
  
You make the knife feel good baby  
  
I'll fight you to the end~  
  
The song was over and Buffy and Spike went back to the table.  
  
"Want a drink or anything?" Spike asked.  
  
"No thanks, I'm fine." She said.  
  
"Alright." He said. "I'm going to go get one, last chance pet." He said.  
  
"Thanks, but no." She said and he left.  
  
Buffy looked around the club. She saw Faith and Angel, they were coming over to her.  
  
"Hello again." Angel said, sitting.  
  
"Hi." Buffy said and looked for Spike, he was still ordering.  
  
"You here with Spike?" Faith asked.  
  
"And a few other friends." Buffy said.  
  
"Remember what I told you." Faith said.  
  
"Faith, I know the story, I don't care what he did or didn't do to you, and we're not together. And if we were, I wouldn't care what he did because you're just a slut, it probably wasn't his baby." Buffy said.  
  
"He told you it wasn't his baby? That's a lie. Buffy, I didn't sleep with anyone when I was fucking Spike." Faith said.  
  
"Whatever, is that all you want?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Come on Faith." Angel said, taking her hand and walking off.  
  
"Hey Buff." Xander said, sitting beside her.  
  
"Hi." She said.  
  
"What did they want?" He asked.  
  
"Nothing, never mind. Where's Nikki?" She asked.  
  
"Bathroom."  
  
"Tell Spike, I went to the bathroom k?" She asked, standing.  
  
"Can do." He said and Buffy headed to the bathroom.  
  
She opened the door and saw Nikki looking at her reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Hey Nik, what you doing in here?" Buffy asked, standing beside her friend.  
  
"Doing what normal people do in bathrooms, peeing." She said.  
  
Buffy laughed. "I saw you and Xander dancing." She said.  
  
"Yeah?" Nikki asked. "Buffy, we're friends. Like you and Spike."  
  
"That's different. He's really into you." Buffy said.  
  
"No he isn't."  
  
"Yeah, he really is." Buffy said.  
  
"You think?" She asked.  
  
"Yeah, I do. So you should go out there and give him another dance." Buffy said.  
  
"I think I will." Nikki said. She looked at Buffy's reflection. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah, why?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I heard the song." She said.  
  
"What?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Buff, stop pretending. I heard those lyrics. I saw that tear." Nikki said.  
  
"Faith and Angel talked to me." Buffy said, completely changing the subject. Nikki noticed but didn't say anything.  
  
"What did they want?" She asked.  
  
"You know Xander asked the exact same question. But yeah, not much. Just asked me if I was here with Spike, so I told her the truth." Buffy said. "That she's a slut."  
  
"You didn't." Nikki said.  
  
"Yeah, I did."  
  
"Go Buffy." Nikki said.  
  
"Go me. Look, you should go out with Xander, just I mean, not dating, but you should do that too." Buffy said and Nikki laughed. "I'll be out in a minute."  
  
"Alright. Catch you later." Nikki said and left.  
  
Faith walked in.  
  
"Hello." She said.  
  
"What now? Here to tell me that Spike's the dad of your present baby?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Buffy, that crap about Spike not being my baby's father, what he says, are lies. He knows it, just doesn't want to admit it. I don't want him back if that's what anyone says. I'm happy with Angel, happier then I ever could have been with Spike. He's dangerous Buffy." Faith said.  
  
"Whatever." Buffy said and went back out to join her friends.  
  
"Hey Buffy." Spike said as she sat down.  
  
"Hi." She decided not to tell them about her encounter with Faith in the restroom.  
  
"So, what do you guys want to do?" Nikki asked.  
  
"I don't know." Xander said.  
  
"I do." Buffy said. "Lets play truth or dare."  
  
"Aren't we a bit old for that luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Only if you're chicken." Buffy said.  
  
"Lets play." Nikki said. "Buffy, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth." Buffy said. How bad could truth be?  
  
"What did Faith say to you in the bathroom?" She said.  
  
"Nikki ." Buffy said. "I don't ."  
  
"Faith talked to you in the bathroom?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well yeah, but ."  
  
"Answer the question Buff." Nikki said.  
  
"She . uh, she just said that she wanted me to know she didn't want Spike, she was happy with Angel." Buffy said, maybe leaving out some of the conversation.  
  
"Is that it?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Yes, it is." Buffy said. "Now, Nikki, truth or dare?"  
  
"Dare."  
  
"I dare you . to . kiss Xander." Buffy said.  
  
"What?" Nikki asked.  
  
"You heard me. Get kissing." Buffy said.  
  
Nikki looked at Xander. "Uh, do you mind?" She asked.  
  
"Not at all." Xander said and leaned down to kiss her. It was short, but sweet.  
  
"Alright. My turn." Xander said. "Spike, truth or dare?"  
  
"Truth." Spike said.  
  
"Okay, here goes. Are you really the father of Faith's baby? Truthfully." Xander said.  
  
"Xander, you know I'm not the father." Spike said.  
  
"Like hell." Buffy said under her breath.  
  
"What was that luv?" Spike asked.  
  
"Nothing. I didn't say anything." She said.  
  
"Right. Xander, truth or dare?"  
  
"Um, truth."  
  
"Am I the only one brave enough to pick dare?" Nikki said.  
  
"Truth? Okay, when the bloody hell are you going to ask Nikki out?"  
  
Xander blushed. "Now." He said. "Nikki, would you, uh like to go out with me?"  
  
"I'd love to." She said and smiled.  
  
"Great." Xander said.  
  
"Awe, how cute. Back to the game." Buffy said.  
  
"I'm bored of this game." Nikki said. "What else is there to do?"  
  
"Not a whole lot." Xander said.  
  
"Well, we could always just go back to the house." Buffy said.  
  
"That's real funny." Nikki said.  
  
"I think I'm going to head back anyways." Buffy said. "I'm kind of tired."  
  
"Why? Buffy, please stay." Nikki begged.  
  
"No, you guys stay out, have some fun. Boring Buffy is going to go to sleep."  
  
"I'll walk you pet." Spike said.  
  
"Spike, you don't have to ."  
  
"I know, but I want to." Spike said.  
  
"Okay. Nikki, Xander, I guess this can classify as your first date." Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah." Xander said.  
  
"Bye Buff." Nikki said as Spike and Buffy got up and left.  
  
~*~Hey!! Yeah, its kind of long . he he . yeah, lol, review please!!~*~ 


	7. Chapter 7

Buffy sat awake in her room. Spike had walked her home, and then they went their separate ways. Her mind was full of unanswered questions that she needed to sort out. It was all so confusing, was Spike the baby's father, who does she believe Faith or Spike, does she love Spike? God, so many hard questions. She wished Dawn were there, sitting with her. That's when the door opened.  
  
"Buffy, you've got a visitor." Marge said.  
  
"What? Who?" Buffy asked, completely clueless.  
  
"Here she is, you'll find out." She said and disappeared.  
  
Buffy waited for someone to come into the room and when she saw Dawn, her eyes filled with tears. It was her sister, she got her wish.  
  
"Dawn!" She yelled and jumped up, hugging her sister.  
  
"Buffy, how are you?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Pretty okay, how about you? How's your new life?"  
  
"Crapy without my twin." Dawn said.  
  
"Oh Dawn." Buffy said and hugged her tighter.  
  
"I can't stay for long, I kind of left without telling anyone. I needed to see you." Dawn said.  
  
"Come, sit." Buffy said, taking her over to Buffy's bed.  
  
"Buffy, I begged them to let you come live with me, but they said no." Dawn said.  
  
"I believe you Dawn. But don't think about that. How did you get here?"  
  
"Bus." Dawn said.  
  
"I missed you so much Dawnie." Buffy said, wiping away Dawn's tears.  
  
"I missed you too Buffy." She said.  
  
"So, how's school? Did you start school yet?" Buffy asked.  
  
"No, its June, too late. But I can't say I'm disappointed. How about you?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Well, I don't know if I go to school or not, but I guess I'll find out soon enough huh?" Buffy said. "Any special guy?"  
  
"Buffy! It's only been a few weeks." Dawn said. "No. You?"  
  
"No, not really." Buffy said.  
  
Dawn raised an eyebrow. "Not really?"  
  
"Well, I like him, but I'm not ready." Buffy said.  
  
"I see. Buffy, you can't believe how good it feels to see you again." Dawn said, hugging her sister.  
  
"Oh believe me I do." They smiled. "You must be tired. Why don't we both get some sleep? Then we can talk in the morning. Okay?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Am I allowed?"  
  
"One way to find out." Buffy said and laid down next to her sister.  
  
~*~  
  
"Ms. Summers!" Marge yelled.  
  
Buffy jumped up. "What did I do?"  
  
"This girl's parents have been looking everywhere for her." Marge said, looking at Dawn.  
  
"They are not my parents." Dawn said.  
  
"Excuse me?" Marge said.  
  
"They are not her parents." Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy, stay out of this. Now Ms, come with me and I'll take you to your parents." Marge said.  
  
"They are not my parents!" Dawn yelled.  
  
"They say they are."  
  
"Oh fuck it." Dawn said.  
  
"Dawn, maybe you should just go. I wouldn't want to cause trouble with you and you're. New people." Buffy said. "I'll call you." She whispered as Dawn stood up.  
  
"Fine. Bye Buffy, I love you."  
  
"I love you too Dawnie." Buffy said, tears starting to form as she watched her sister leave.  
  
After Dawn left, Buffy laid back down on her bed. She looked up when the door opened and was relieved when Spike came in.  
  
"Saw that girl leaving. She was your sis wasn't she luv?" He asked.  
  
"Yeah, Dawn." Buffy said, sitting up.  
  
"Heard she ran away, brave little one isn't she?" He asked.  
  
"Very brave. Spike, what do you want?" She asked.  
  
"Nothing, cant I just come in and say hi anymore?" He asked.  
  
"That's not what I meant. I just meant, never mind." She said.  
  
"There was more." He said.  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"The conversation, with Faith, there was more wasn't there pet?" He asked.  
  
"No, I told you all she said to me. Maybe she was talking to herself, but that's all I got." Buffy said.  
  
"Fine. I see Nikki never came home." Spike said, looking to Nikki's empty bed.  
  
"What? Oh yeah, she did. She just left Dawn and me, she went to sleep with Xander I think."  
  
"Oh." Spike said and sat on the bed.  
  
"I should get up, breakfast is soon." Buffy said, standing.  
  
"Yeah, I'll go." He said and left.  
  
"Bye." Buffy said to no one.  
  
~*~  
  
The day went by pretty quickly. There was breakfast, then sleep, then chores. Buffy was sitting in the Chill Room watching reruns of Passions when Nikki came in.  
  
"Hey Buff. How did last night go with you and your sister?" Nikki asked.  
  
"It was nice, thanks for giving us time alone." Buffy said.  
  
"No problem. I heard her leaving." Nikki said with a little laugh.  
  
"Yeah, she makes quite a scene."  
  
"She really wanted to see you I guess."  
  
"So did I. Her not me." Buffy said.  
  
"You know whatever Faith told you isn't true right? She's just trying to split you guys up." Nikki said.  
  
"Is she? Look, I don't know who to believe anymore Nik, really, it's confusing." Buffy said.  
  
"Spike's really upset. That you don't believe him." Nikki said.  
  
"Well, I can't help it. All right, please just can we not talk about Spike? Its hard, to see him hurting, you don't need to rub it in my face." Buffy said.  
  
"Sorry Buff. I didn't mean anything." Nikki said.  
  
"I know. I'm sorry Nikki." Buffy said, stray tears falling.  
  
"Come here girl." Nikki said and pulled Buffy into a hug.  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Buffy." Spike said as him and Xander approached her playing basketball.  
  
"Hi guys." She said, stopping and holding the ball under her arm.  
  
"Playing Buffy on Buffy?" Xander asked.  
  
Buffy laughed. "I was just taking some shots. You guys can play now." She said and threw Xander the ball.  
  
"You sure? You could join us." Xander said.  
  
"No thanks." Buffy said.  
  
"Alright, thanks Buff." Xander said, walking onto the court.  
  
"Bye Xander, bye Spike." Buffy said.  
  
"Bye luv." Spike said and watched her go inside.  
  
"What's up with the Buffster?" Xander asked.  
  
"Don't ask me. I think it has to do with something Faith said." Spike said.  
  
"Well that sucks, you guys were going good." Xander said.  
  
"Yeah, but you know Faithy, cant mind her own bloody business." Spike said.  
  
"Forget Faith. Come on Spike, first person to twenty wins." Xander said and they started playing.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy was inside watching TV when Marge came up to her.  
  
"Buffy, I'm busy. Show the new girl around." Marge said.  
  
"New girl?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, Ms. Rosenberg." Marge said and walked off.  
  
Buffy saw a petit red head walk into the room.  
  
"Hey, I'm Buffy. Guess I'm showing you around." Buffy said, standing.  
  
"Willow." The girl said.  
  
"That's a pretty name." Buffy said. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour." Buffy said and began walking.  
  
"Do you like it here?" Willow asked.  
  
"Not really, but I deal." Buffy said. "Its not so bad once you meet a few people, you get used to it. This is the kitchen, where you make food. Then, we move to the dining room." She said, walking into a long room, with a wooden table. "You might not want to eat here for a while."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Lets just say, it's not pretty." Buffy said and walked outside. "This is the outside, where you'll probably spend a lot of your time. There's fresh air out here." She said and started walking down to the driveway. "Now this is our basketball court. You play basketball?"  
  
"No." Willow said.  
  
"Oh then, you probably won't need to know about this. Those two guys, Spike and Xander." She said. "You'll probably meet them later." Buffy said. "I think that's it. Do you know where your room is?"  
  
"No." Willow said, shaking her head.  
  
"Oh, do you know who you're sharing with?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Someone named Winifred, I think." Willow said.  
  
"Who? Oh, Fred. Yeah, I know where your room is." Buffy said and they started walking. Buffy opened a door, revealing two beds, one made, one not, and a dresser. "Here you go. Hey, if you want, my room is right next to yours, so feel free to come by, whenever." Buffy said.  
  
"Thank you." Willow said and went over to her bed.  
  
"Bye." Buffy said and left.  
  
~*~  
  
It was suppertime and the kids surrounded the table. Buffy sat in-between Willow and Nikki. The food wasn't bad tonight, probably cause it was takeout. Buffy finished, leaving most of her food on her plate and headed to the Chill Room. Willow followed shortly after, then Nikki, and then Spike and Xander. Nikki sat in-between Xander's legs, while he sat in a chair. Buffy and Willow shared the couch and Spike sat in a chair. All five sat in the Chill Room, silent.  
  
"The silence is killing me! Someone talk!" Nikki yelled.  
  
"You guys haven't met Willow have you?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Don't think." Xander said.  
  
"Well, this is Willow, she's new here so you guys be nice." Buffy said.  
  
"Aren't we always?" Nikki asked.  
  
"No." Buffy laughed. "Back to Willow now. This is Nikki, Xander and Spike." Buffy introduced. "Xander and Nikki are dating. Its so cute." Buffy said.  
  
"Yeah, it is, isn't it?" Nikki said. "And if Buffy and Spike would put aside their little arguments they'd be dating too."  
  
"No we wouldn't, you know that Nikki." Buffy said.  
  
Willow was silent.  
  
"You guys need to talk, cause you're meant for each other, you have to sort all this Faith stuff out." Nikki said.  
  
"I agree with her." Xander said.  
  
"So do I luv." Spike said.  
  
"Fine, three against one. Talk." Buffy said.  
  
"Alone." Spike said.  
  
"Fine, my room?" Buffy said.  
  
"Sounds good pet." He said and followed her in.  
  
They sat in silence, Spike on Nikki's bed, Buffy on hers.  
  
"Are we going to talk or not?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You first." Spike said.  
  
"Fine. There was more. She told me that it was a bunch of bull, you not being her baby's father, that you know it and are denying it." Buffy said. "That's all."  
  
"Bloody hell Buffy. What do I have to do? I'm not the bleeding father! She's the one lying. You have to believe me." Spike said, his eyes pleading.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy said. "I don't know you well enough to be able to trust you. Or Faith."  
  
"Well, what do you want to know luv?"  
  
"Its not just that, I don't trust people as easily as I used to okay?" Buffy said.  
  
"Since your parents." Spike said.  
  
"Yeah, since them. I'm sorry okay, but it's just the way it is." Buffy said. "Just give me time."  
  
"Alright. But I cant wait forever Buffy." Spike said and the two got up.  
  
"Are we cool?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, we're cool luv." Spike said and they hugged before walking out to join their friends.  
  
"You guys good?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Yeah, we're good." Buffy said, taking her seat next to Willow. "How are you holding up?"  
  
"Fine. You're friends are really nice." Willow said.  
  
"We're your friends too." Nikki said.  
  
Willow smiled. "Thanks."  
  
"So, what do you guys want to do?" Xander asked.  
  
"Not sure, how about we go out. To the Bronze?" Buffy said.  
  
"Sure. I like that idea." Nikki said.  
  
"I'm in." Xander said.  
  
"Yeah, me too." Spike said.  
  
"How about you Willow, you in?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I guess." Willow said.  
  
"Great." Buffy said.  
  
~*~  
  
It was Friday so the Bronze was full with people. Xander and Nikki went off to dance right away, while Buffy, Spike and Willow headed over to a free table.  
  
"This place is. Loud." Willow said.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy said.  
  
"Want to dance luv?" Spike asked Buffy.  
  
"I don't know." Buffy said.  
  
"Just as friends."  
  
"No, I mean Willow. I don't want to just leave her here." Buffy said.  
  
"Oh don't worry about me, I'll be fine." Willow said.  
  
"Okay." Buffy said and followed Spike to a space on the floor.  
  
~ I could stay awake just to hear you breathing  
  
Watch you smile while you are sleeping  
  
While you're far away dreaming  
  
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender  
  
I could stay lost in this moment forever  
  
Every moment I spend with you is a moment I treasure  
  
Don't want to close my eyes  
  
Don't want to fall asleep  
  
Cause I'd miss you baby  
  
And I don't want to miss a thing  
  
The sweetest dream will never do  
  
I'd still miss you baby  
  
And I don't want to miss a thing~  
  
Buffy looked at Xander and Nikki dancing as she rested her head on Spike's chest. A smile was on both their faces, and it put one on Buffy's. They were the perfect couple.  
  
~ Lying close to you feeling your heart beating  
  
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming  
  
Wondering if it's me you're seeing  
  
Then I kiss your eyes  
  
And thank God we're together  
  
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever  
  
Forever and ever Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing I don't want to miss one smile I don't want to miss one kiss I just want to be with you Right here with you, just like this I just want to hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep Cause I'd miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Cause even when I dream of you The sweetest dream will never do I'd still miss you baby And I don't want to miss a thing Don't want to close my eyes I don't want to fall asleep I don't want to miss a thing~  
  
The song ended and the two couples went back to join Willow.  
  
"Hey Will, how you doing?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'm fine, you guys looked so cute, both of you." She said.  
  
"Thanks." Nikki said and smiled at Xander.  
  
"Anyone know the time?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Uh, it's six fifty. What time do we have to be back?" Willow asked.  
  
"Shit, ten minutes. It's a fifteen minute walk." Nikki said.  
  
"Then we run." Buffy said.  
  
"We better get going." Spike said.  
  
~*~  
  
They got back to the house at exactly seven o clock. Buffy and Willow went into the kitchen to get drinks.  
  
"Who's Faith?" Willow asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh, Faith. Spikes ex. He got her pregnant, or didn't, its all confusing." Buffy said.  
  
"Oh." Willow said and followed Buffy into her and Nikki's room.  
  
"The drinks are here." Buffy said sitting on her bed, next to Spike. She handed Spike a cup while Willow gave Xander and Nikki theirs. "Enjoy."  
  
"Thanks luv." Spike said.  
  
Willow took a seat on the other side of Buffy. "Hello again."  
  
"Hi." Buffy said.  
  
"What do you guys want to do?" Nikki asked.  
  
"That's becoming a frequent question." Buffy said. "Are we really that boring?"  
  
"Yes." Xander said.  
  
"Oh, we could play cards." Willow said.  
  
"Cards? Alright, I'm in." Buffy said.  
  
"Me too." Nikki said.  
  
"I guess." Xander said.  
  
"Depends what game." Spike said. "And who has cards?"  
  
"I do." Buffy said, I kind of. Yeah." She said and reached under her bed. "Here." She said and handed them to Spike.  
  
"Now, what game?" Nikki asked.  
  
"I'm in for strip poker." Xander said.  
  
"Xander!" Nikki yelled and hit him. "That's so gross."  
  
"What? I'm a guy, can you blame me?"  
  
"Yes I can and I do." Nikki said.  
  
"I thought yo loved me." Xander said, pouting.  
  
"I do." Nikki said and kissed him.  
  
"Alright, break it up." Buffy said. "Who's in for strip poker?" Xander and Spike raised their hands. "Three against two. We win." Buffy said.  
  
"Fine, what game do you have in mind pet?" Spike asked.  
  
"Well nothing yet. But when I do it will be a very good, appropriate game." Buffy said.  
  
"I got one!" Nikki said. "Go fish. Oh yeah, who's good?"  
  
"What? Go fish, come on Nikki, strip poker is better then that." Buffy said.  
  
"Well why don't you try and figure one out." Nikki said.  
  
"Fine, signal."  
  
"What's that?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Well it's a four player game, in partners. You come up with a signal and then when you have four of the same card you do the signal and the partner says signal. Now if one of the people on the other team thinks they know you're signal, then they say block and if you get three blocks, the other team wins. To get the cards there's a dealer, so the dealer puts down four cards, and the ones you want, you grab quickly before the other person can get them. But you have to put down one of your cards so there are always four cards. The dealer asks if you're done and if you are you say done and then they put a new set of cards out. Get it?" Buffy explained.  
  
"I think so. But there's five of us." Nikki said.  
  
"I know, so one person isn't going to be able to play, this round at least. They could help a team I guess." Buffy said.  
  
"I'll sit out." Willow said.  
  
"Are you sure Will?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'll help Xander and Nikki cause they haven't played before." Willow said.  
  
"Great." Nikki said. "So I'm with Xander and you and Spike are together. That okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine with it." Buffy said.  
  
"Me too. Lets play." Spike said.  
  
The five sat on the floor. Xander across from Nikki, Spike next to Xander and Nikki and Buffy across from Spike. Buffy was the dealer so she put out the first four cards. The game went on for a while, everyone getting more and more competitive. They played until Marge came in and told them lights out.  
  
"Well, looks like we won." Buffy said, giving Spike a high five.  
  
"Yeah yeah." Nikki said.  
  
"Goodnight Nik." Xander said, giving Nikki a kiss on the forehead. "Night Buffy, Spike, Willow." He said and left.  
  
"Night luv." He said to Buffy.  
  
"Good night Spike." Buffy said.  
  
"Night Nikki, Willow." He said and left.  
  
"Willow, don't leave." Buffy said.  
  
"I have to. I'll see you guys in the morning. Goodnight." Willow said and left.  
  
"So Buff, quite a team you and Spike make." Nikki said as they changed into their pajamas.  
  
"I guess so." Buffy said. "Night Nikki."  
  
"What, no midnight girl-talk?" Nikki said.  
  
"I'm tired." Buffy whined.  
  
"Fine, night Buff." She said and climbed into bed.  
  
~*~Well, yet another chapter of my story. Thanks for the reviews guys and keep them coming!~*~ 


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning Buffy woke up to see Nikki staring at her. She jumped and Nikki laughed.  
  
"Jesus Nikki. What the hell are you doing?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Its almost twelve, you have to get up sleepy head." Nikki said.  
  
"Did you take an overdose of happy pills today?" Buffy said.  
  
"No silly. I'm just happy." Nikki said.  
  
"I see. No offense, but why?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Xander." She said, taking a breath. "I love him."  
  
"I know. You've told me this." Buffy said getting up.  
  
"But, I just can't believe it. Its so amazing, being in love."  
  
"I wouldn't know." Buffy said, pulling out a pair of jeans and a black shirt.  
  
"Oh Buff, you and Spike will get together." Nikki said.  
  
"Nikki, please, me and Spike aren't in love." Buffy said.  
  
"You may not be in love, but then you must be in like."  
  
"Would it make you more happy if I said I was in like?" Nikki nodded. "Then I'm in like."  
  
"But now you're just saying that."  
  
"Are you pregnant?"  
  
"No!" Nikki yelled.  
  
"Well come on. If we're late for our chores not only will Marge kill us, she'll cut us up into little pieces and feed us to the people here."  
  
"You're good at grossing people out Buffy." Nikki said and the girls left to do their chores.  
  
~*~  
  
It was after supper and Buffy was sitting in her room. Xander and Nikki had gone out to a movie and Buffy was planning on calling Dawn, somehow. There was no phone in their room, in anyone's room for that matter. So she got up and started to walk out the door. There was a payphone at the corner store she could use. She was walking down the driveway when Spike approached her.  
  
"Hello luv." He said.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Where you off to?" He asked.  
  
"Corner store. I need to use the phone." Buffy said.  
  
"Can I go?"  
  
"Doesn't matter to me." Buffy said and started walking, Spike ran after her.  
  
"I'll come." He said.  
  
"Alright then." She said and they walked to the store.  
  
They got to the small store and Buffy headed to the payphone while Spike went into the store.  
  
"McDonald residence." A young girls voice said.  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah, who's this?" She said. "Buffy?"  
  
"That's me. How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine, you?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Pretty good." Buffy said. She heard someone yelling inside the store and Spike came running out.  
  
"You didn't see me pet." He said and ran off.  
  
"What was that?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Nothing." Buffy said and a man came out of the store.  
  
"Where did he go?"  
  
"That way." Buffy said, pointing in the opposite direction Spike went.  
  
"Thank you." The man said and ran off.  
  
"So Dawn, I just called to check up on you." Buffy said, shaking her head at the man.  
  
"Well I'm okay. The people that I'm living with got kind of mad when I ran away." Dawn said.  
  
"What did they do?"  
  
"Grounded me for a month. I'm not supposed to be on the phone but I don't give a fuck!" She yelled and Buffy put the phone away from her ear for a minute. "Sorry, wanted them to hear that. And they did. Buffy, I got to go. I love you."  
  
"Love you too Dawnie. Bye." She said and hung up the phone.  
  
She was walking down the street when Spike came out of the woods.  
  
"What was that back there?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Nothing luv, don't worry about it." He said. "Drink?" He asked, handing her a coke.  
  
"Spike, you stole this." She said.  
  
"So?" He said.  
  
"So, its funny." She said and he smiled.  
  
"Do you want it or not pet?"  
  
"Sure." She said and started drinking the coke. "Thanks."  
  
"No worries." He said.  
  
"You know we're going to get in shit." Buffy said.  
  
"Only if we get caught."  
  
"Oh when Buffy's involved, we'll get caught." Buffy said.  
  
"Shouldn't be so hard on yourself luv."  
  
"Why not?" She said. "You just watch, we're going to get caught."  
  
"No we're not, we're here." He said, walking up the driveway.  
  
Buffy took notice of some bricks that were about to fall on Spike from the roof. It was being redone.  
  
"Spike!" She yelled and jumped on him, knocking him out of the way and landing on him. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah luv." He said and when he went to get up she kissed him.  
  
The thought of losing him made her insides twist. She pulled back and looked in his eyes then quickly stood up. She extended her hand for him to take and helped him up.  
  
"What was that for pet?" He asked.  
  
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking." She said, hanging her head.  
  
"Don't be sorry. I just meant what happened, did you change your mind?"  
  
"I don't know Spike. Yes . . . No, maybe? It's complicated."  
  
"No its not. You either like me or you don't. And if you like me, we should be together because I like you a lot." Spike said.  
  
"You know how I feel." Buffy said.  
  
"Refresh my memory luv." He said.  
  
She looked away, silent for a minute.  
  
"I like you, I really like you! So much it scares me! So much that the thought of losing you makes me feel all gross and I don't want to feel that! Because love hurts!" Buffy yelled.  
  
"Buffy, its okay pet. I feel the same about you, that's a good thing." He reassured.  
  
"No it isn't Spike, I'm not ready for love . . . Like! I just don't need it now!" She said, getting teary eyed.  
  
"Love is better then you think. It only hurts if the other person hurts you. Have I hurt you?"  
  
"Yeah, so there you go." Buffy said.  
  
"When luv?" Spike asked, confused.  
  
"When?! When Faith told me about you two. When you said you and her . . . That hurt!" Buffy said.  
  
"I'm sorry Buffy, but you asked. You know I would never hurt you. You're not the only one that's scared, but that's the exciting part."  
  
"Maybe for you Spike, but the scary part is scary, not exciting, scary. I've been hurt bad before, more then you could ever know. It hurt." Buffy said.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"You don't need to know." She said, sniffing tears back.  
  
"I'm going in now." She said and he watched her run inside.  
  
~*~It's a short chap, but I'll update soon . . . If I get some good reviews~*~ 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy flopped on her bed and buried her face in her pillow as tears took over her eyes. She continued crying as Willow, Xander and Nikki walked in. Nikki and Willow immediately went to their friend's side.  
  
"Buffy, what's wrong?" Willow asked.  
  
"N-Nothing." Buffy said, wiping away the stray tears.  
  
"C'mon Buff, you can tell us. Want Xander to leave?" Nikki asked, looking at Xander.  
  
"No no, you guys do what you were planning. I'm fine, really. I just need to get my head together, play some b-ball." Buffy said.  
  
"Want to play a game?" Xander asked.  
  
"No, I kind of want to be alone."  
  
"Alright. Well, have fun." Nikki said in a sadder, low tone.  
  
"Yeah . . . " Buffy said and walked out the door.  
  
She grabbed a ball from the closet and headed out to the net. She kept her eyes in front of her as she walked past Spike and a few guys. He didn't try to talk to her, and she was thankful, she wasn't in the mood to talk to him, or anyone for that matter. She stood a few feet away from the net and took a shot. It went in and bounced back.  
  
"Getting better."  
  
She turned around at the sound of an all too familiar voice. She stared into those hazel eyes she had many times before.  
  
"Riley . . ." She said. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"  
  
"I needed to tell you how sorry I am. I feel so bad that you left like that, never giving me a chance to explain."  
  
"You didn't answer my other question. How did you find me?" She asked.  
  
"I moved, shortly after you left. I live close to Dawn, few houses away." Riley said.  
  
"If you go near her I swear to god . . ."  
  
"Buffy, I wont. That's not the point. She told me where you were because she knows how much I love you."  
  
"Riley, you know I cant . . ." Buffy said.  
  
"You can if you want. What happened Buffy, that was all in the past. Start a new life. With me." He said.  
  
"I cant. I just cant. I already have started a new life. And I'm quite happy with how it's going so far. Except for the fact that I can't forget what you did. You hurt me Riley, so bad."  
  
"Have you . . . Are you with someone?"  
  
She looked to Spike, watched him laughing. She wanted so bad to be with him, she wanted so bad to be able to love him.  
  
"Ye-No, maybe. Does it really matter? If I wasn't Riley, you know we could never be. Please, just turn around and walk away. Don't make it any harder." Buffy told him.  
  
He was silent, but did what she had said. He turned around and slowly walked out of her life, once again. She noticed Spike approaching her out of the corner of her eye. Letting the ball roll off, she waited for him to reach her.  
  
"Who was that luv?"  
  
"No one. It doesn't matter." She said.  
  
"Are you and him?"  
  
"God, would you care? Spike, you and me, in fact there is no you and me. Why would it matter if I were with someone else? We're not in love." Buffy said.  
  
"Just because you say you don't love me, doesn't mean I'm going to stop loving you. I care who he was pet, because I don't want to lose you. And by what you did today, you don't want to lose me either."  
  
"Can we please not talk about this?"  
  
"No, I think we have to."  
  
"Spike . . ."  
  
"Buffy, why won't you just let yourself love me? Am I not good enough?" Spike asked.  
  
"How could you even say that? You are too good. It has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with me." She said. "Like I told you, I've been hurt. I'm not ready to be with someone and I'm definitely not ready to be in love."  
  
"I can wait."  
  
"That sounds familiar." She said.  
  
"Whoever said that to you Buffy, whoever he was, he isn't me." Spike said. "If it means being with you, then I'll wait. Even if all I can do is hold you, its better then living without you." Spike said.  
  
"Spike please. I don't want to hurt you but I'm not ready."  
  
"I understand, I'll be waiting. Till then, friends?" He asked, extending his hand.  
  
"Friends." Buffy said and shook it.  
  
~*~  
  
Willow, Nikki and Buffy sat in the two girls room, talking. Nikki was going on about how great Xander was and how much she was in love with him. Buffy and Willow would exchange glances, rolling their eyes. Then something got Buffy's attention.  
  
". . . So who's this Riley anyways?" Nikki asked.  
  
"What? How do you know about?"  
  
"I don't know." She shrugged. "I know these things. Well, actually some of the guys overheard you two talking and then they told Xander, and Xander then asked me if I knew anything about it and I didn't, so I asked Willow and neither did she, so then I decided, hey, maybe Spike knows, but he didn't, so now I'm asking you. Please tell us Buffy."  
  
"Riley is just an old friend." Buffy said.  
  
"An old boyfriend by any chance?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Yeah, we were a couple I guess you could say."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And. . . We broke up."  
  
"C'mon Buff, more details. We're your friends, you can tell us."  
  
"Fine, fine. Well, it all started last year . . ."  
  
FLASHBACK THINGY  
  
It was Monday morning at Sunnydale Junior High and also the first day of the New Year. Buffy Summers was new to Sunnydale and didn't know anyone, so she casually walked alone. A brown haired boy noticed her though, and liked what he saw. His name was Riley and he was perfect, or so that's what Buffy thought. He showed her around, got to know her and pretty soon came to love her. But Buffy wasn't ready for what Riley wanted, she wanted to wait a while and he agreed he would. What Buffy didn't know was Riley was willing to wait for her, as long as he was getting some from other girls during this time. One of the girls, yes one, there were more, had come up to Buffy, feeling terrible about what she did. And that's when her heart crumbled, her trust in anyone and everyone was lost. Riley didn't deny it though, instead he told her that she wasn't giving him enough, and that it was over. Buffy was heartbroken. She loved this guy with everything she had. He was all she lived for, all she wanted. He was the one thing in this world that made her happy, and he had broken her heart. How could you just jump into a relationship after someone ripped out your heart and stomped on it like that? It isn't possible, at least not for Buffy.  
  
END FLASHBACK THINGY  
  
"Whoa Buffy." Willow said after she had filled them in on her past relationship with Angel.  
  
"What a loser." Nikki said.  
  
"Yeah, you can't tell anyone guys. Not Spike, or Xander or anyone." Buffy said.  
  
"Promise." The two said in unison.  
  
~*~  
  
~ . . . You were my strength when I was weak  
  
You were my voice when I couldn't speak  
  
You were my eyes when I couldn't see  
  
You saw the best there was in me  
  
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach  
  
You gave me faith 'coz you believed  
  
I'm everything I am  
  
Because you loved me  
  
I'm everything I am  
  
Because you loved me ~  
  
Buffy, Willow and Spike watched as Nikki and Xander finished off the dance. They came back and sat down with them.  
  
"You and Spike should have danced." Nikki said.  
  
"No, I didn't want to leave Willow."  
  
"I'm oka-yeah I don't like being alone, don't leave me." Willow said.  
  
"Alright. Whatever you want." Nikki said.  
  
"Hey, Will would you come with me to get a drink?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Sure." Willow said and stood up.  
  
The two walked over to get their drinks. They sat down on two stools close to the table.  
  
"Don't want to dance with Spike? I thought you two were all friends, don't say you're not anymore please cause I don't like it when you're not all friendness."  
  
"We're friends. I just didn't feel comfortable dancing, I mean, last time I did cry."  
  
"You did? Why?" Willow asked.  
  
"It was just . . . The song." Buffy said. "Anyways, back to the . . . That guy is so checking you out Will."  
  
"What? Where? Me? No." She said, looking behind her.  
  
A blue haired boy, around their age sat staring at Willow. He was short and held a guitar. He was making his way over to them.  
  
"Catch ya later." Buffy said and ran off.  
  
"Hey." The guy said. "I'm Oz."  
  
"Willow."  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy walked out of the bathroom stall and was washing her hands when Faith and a blonde girl walked in. Faith looked at her and then started talking to the blonde.  
  
"Buffy?" The blonde asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm Harmony, another one of Spike's ex's."  
  
"What is this like protect Buffy from Spike year or something? I mean, we're not together and right now I don't have any intention on being with him. So don't worry your blonde head off, because I am not in "danger"." Buffy said and walked out.  
  
She thought that this Faith-baby thing was over. Guess not. She walked by Willow and Oz and smiled at them. Willow seemed to be enjoying herself. She rejoined the rest of her friends and tried to find out what they were talking about.  
  
"Where's Willow?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Oh, she met this guy."  
  
"Go Will." Nikki said. "Is he cute?"  
  
"He's okay." Buffy said.  
  
"I'm happy for her. Every girl needs a special guy in her life." Nikki said.  
  
"Yeah . . ."  
  
"What time is it Xan?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Six."  
  
"I'm going back guys. I'll catch you later." Buffy said.  
  
"Okay . . . See you." Nikki said as Buffy walked away.  
  
~ Hey, another chapter for you. Its not that long, but its not super short . . .So . . . Review ~ 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Well I think you pretty much know that I don't own any of them except for Nikki and Marge and anyone else I made up. The rest belong to Joss. Why do I use a different disclaimer every single time? Meh, I can't say I know.  
  
~A/N~ I was rereading the last chapter, and I noticed that I put "filled them in on her past relationship with ANGEL". But it was supposed to be Riley. So, if you could ignore that, I would be happy.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy walked down the hall to her and Nikki's room. She opened the door and slowly walked over to her bed. Sitting down, she picked up her pillow and held it close to her. She laid down on her bed and started to drift off to sleep. The door opened and she looked up. Marge stood there, looking none to happy. Buffy sat up and waited as Marge came in.  
  
"Yeah?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Where's Nikki?"  
  
"Out, why?"  
  
"Where?" Marge asked.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You don't need to know."  
  
"I don't know where." Buffy said and laid back down.  
  
"I know you know. You were out with them and I suggest you tell me where." She said.  
  
"No."  
  
"Summers . . ." She said.  
  
"That's me." Buffy said. "As for Nikki I don't know where she is."  
  
"Fine." Marge said and backed out.  
  
'What could she possibly want with Nikki?' Buffy thought. 'She wasn't in trouble was she?' Quietly Buffy stood up and headed out to the "Chill Room". She let herself fall onto the blue sofa. She watched a few younger kids playing with the blocks in the corner. She continued watching them for a few minutes before deciding to head outside. She sat down in one of the lawn chairs and stared up at the sky that was beginning to change colours.  
  
"Care for some company?"  
  
"Sure Spike, pull up a chair." Buffy said, recognizing his voice without turning around.  
  
He sat next to her in a chair and stared up, trying to figure out what she found so interesting.  
  
"I thought you were still at the Bronze." Buffy said.  
  
"Was." He said. "You left in a hurry, something wrong luv?"  
  
"No." She said. "I just wanted to get back in time is all."  
  
"Right then . . ."  
  
They sat in silence for a while before Marge came outside in a not to pleasant mood. She began to shove people inside; telling them it was almost curfew. Some protested, mostly the older ones while the younger ones listened, scared as to what might happen if they didn't. She made her way over to the two blondes, stopping just before the grass.  
  
"Inside." She ordered.  
  
"But we're just outside." Buffy argued.  
  
"Don't argue with me Summers."  
  
Spike stood up, as if giving Buffy a hint to as well. She ignored Marge's yelling and followed Spike inside the house. She followed him back to his room and the two sat on his bed.  
  
"Why am I here?" Buffy asked, confused.  
  
"Couldn't resist my handsome charm." Spike joked and Buffy laughed. "That wasn't funny pet."  
  
"Yeah it was." She said.  
  
They sat in silence. Neither knew what to say, or what to do. Buffy had made it clear that she didn't, or wasn't ready for a relationship and he tried his best to respect that. Although he had to admit it wasn't easy, seeing her, being so close to her, knowing she felt the same and not being able to do anything. And it wasn't like it was easy for her either. She had this mysterious attraction to Spike that she'd never felt before, one that she couldn't explain. All she knew was that she had deep feelings for him. But her heart had been shattered before and she couldn't risk that again. She looked over at him, his blue eyes staring out the window. He didn't notice her watching him until he looked around, catching her gaze. The door opened, pulling them out of it. Marge walked in, followed by a boy around eighteen. He was tall and had black hair. His eyes were a bluish grey, Buffy had never seen any like them before, much like Spike's.  
  
"Spike, this is Wesley, your new roommate." Marge said and left.  
  
Spike and Buffy stared at him for a few minutes, before Buffy got up and went over to him. She stretched out her hand and he took it.  
  
"I'm Buffy."  
  
"Nice to meet you." He said politely.  
  
"That's Spike." Buffy said, pointing to the blonde on the bed.  
  
Spike just nodded at him and he nodded back.  
  
"So, what are you doing here?"  
  
"Uh, well my mom left." Wesley said.  
  
"Oh, sorry." Buffy said. "Well, maybe I should go and let you get unpacked and that."  
  
"Buffy." Spike said.  
  
"What? Afraid of him?" Buffy joked.  
  
Spike glared at her and she smiled at Wesley before leaving. She walked out of the room and headed down to hers. She was almost to her door when she heard yelling from her room. She quickened her pace and opened the door to see Nikki and Marge arguing. She walked over to the two and stood in between them.  
  
"What is going on?" She asked.  
  
"Marge here is shipping me off to some home!" Nikki yelled.  
  
"What?" Buffy was shocked.  
  
"Yeah, one less brat I have to put up with." Marge said.  
  
"I'm not leaving." Nikki said.  
  
"Oh yes you are. Bright and early tomorrow morning."  
  
"Tomorrow? Are you shitting me?" Nikki asked.  
  
"No, I'm not. Get packed." She said and left.  
  
"Whore!" Nikki yelled after her.  
  
"Oh my god." Buffy said, sitting down on her bed. "Nikki, you can't go."  
  
"I'm not." Nikki said, sitting next to her.  
  
"You're my best friend." Buffy said, a tear trickling down her cheek.  
  
"Oh, Buffy. You're mine." She said, hugging her. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."  
  
"But they'll make you." Buffy said. "You'll be gone, just like my sister."  
  
"No, no that's not true." Nikki said.  
  
"You should go tell Xander." Buffy said, wiping away her tears. "And Will. I'll tell Spike, if you want."  
  
Nikki nodded and stood up.  
  
"You okay Buff?"  
  
"Yeah, go." Buffy said and watched as Nikki walked out the door.  
  
She waited for a few minutes, crying silently to herself. Finally, she wiped away the tears and stood up. She opened the door to Spike's room and saw him lazily lying on his bed, totally ignoring the unpacking Wesley. Buffy walked over to him and sat on his bed. He sat up, confused as to what she was doing here.  
  
"Spike . . ."  
  
"Buffy?" He said. "Buffy, what's wrong?"  
  
"That bitch is just going to send her off to some other home where she doesn't want to be and I'm going to miss her because she's the only friend I've had that can relate to me and knows what I'm going through with my parents and she's just going to be gone, just like my sister." Buffy said.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Nikki."  
  
"Marge is sending Nikki . . . I'm sorry pet." Spike said.  
  
"Me too." Buffy said and let him bring her into his arms.  
  
Wesley stood, watching them comfort each other, not knowing what had just happened and why Buffy was so upset about it. Buffy pulled out of Spike's arms. Her face was stained with tears and she noticed one silently falling down Spike's. He'd known Nikki longer then Buffy had, maybe they weren't the best of friends then, but still.  
  
"Do you want to stay here for the night?" Spike asked.  
  
Buffy nodded. "Nikki probably wants to spend her last night with Xander, I don't blame her."  
  
"Poor Xander." Spike said. "He loved her."  
  
"No, he loves her. Just because Nikki's leaving doesn't mean he's going to stop loving her . . . Right?"  
  
"Right luv." Spike said. "Just like I will never stop loving you. Even if it means I have to wait for eternity."  
  
"Spike . . ." Buffy whispered.  
  
It hurt her to make him wait; she didn't want it to be this way. But she couldn't just rush into anything. Not after her parents, or Riley. The door opened and Xander, Nikki and Willow all came in. They looked at Wesley for a second, before making their way to Spike and Buffy. Xander was trying to hide the fact that he was hurt, while Willow let the tears fall freely. The three girls all stood and hugged each other. Neither wanted to see their best friend leave them. Xander sat by Spike on his bed, and Spike patted Xander on the back. Through all this, Wesley stood in confusion. He didn't want to intrude on their little goodbyes. Buffy pulled away from the group hug, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"I . . . I'm going to stay the night with Spike. If . . .You want to spend it with Xander." Buffy said.  
  
"Thanks." Nikki said.  
  
"Willow, you can join us . . ." Buffy offered.  
  
"Oh, no, I wouldn't want to . . . I'll stay with Fred." Willow said.  
  
"Okay." Buffy said.  
  
"Xander, do you want to go back to your room? I can't believe I only have one more night with you. I want it to last forever." Nikki said, tears forming.  
  
"Don't cry Nik." Xander said, standing.  
  
"I'll see you guys in the morning." Nikki said and followed Xander out.  
  
"I should go . . ." Willow said and with one last hug, she left.  
  
"That leaves just us." Buffy said, sitting next to Spike once again.  
  
"And him." Spike said, nodding at Wesley.  
  
"Spike, he's fine." Buffy said.  
  
"I'll leave." Wesley said.  
  
"No, stay. You need to unpack." Buffy said.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Spike, lets go out to the Chill Room."  
  
"Fine pet."  
  
The two got up and left the room. They headed out to the Chill Room, passing Willow and Fred on their way. They sat on the sofa, side by side. It was silent for a few minutes before Buffy decided to tell him something.  
  
"When I was in the bathroom, at the Bronze earlier. I ran into Faith." Spike sighed. "And some Harmony girl. Just the usually warning . . . But I don't know, I was wondering what happened between you and Harmony."  
  
"I'll tell you about Harmony, if you tell me the truth about Riley."  
  
"How do you know about Riley?" Buffy asked.  
  
"News travels." He answered. "So . . ."  
  
"No deal." Buffy said.  
  
"Bloody hell woman, why not?"  
  
"Because, I doubt that your and Harmony's relationship was anywhere near mine and Riley's."  
  
"Don't know that luv." Spike said. "He's the one who . . . He hurt you."  
  
"Yeah, he is."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Nothing, it doesn't matter." Buffy said.  
  
"Yes it does Buffy, I care if he hurt you or not. I need to know what happened. And if you don't tell me, I'll just have to go find this Riley." Spike said.  
  
"Spike . . ." She sighed. "He just . . . He just . . . He didn't want to wait. He cheated on me, with millions of girls, just because I wouldn't . . . Then, he broke me."  
  
"Did he touch you?" Spike asked, anger in his voice.  
  
"No, no, he just . . . Broke my heart. Its hard to trust after that."  
  
Spike sat there, trying to calm himself. This Riley creep had hurt Buffy bad, causing her to not be able to love him. He should die; die a horrible, painful death.  
  
"Harmony, she was . . . Well, we were engaged. She was so bloody in love with me, I didn't love her though, broke it off before I got sent here. We were only together for a few months; she took it some bleeding bad. Made it her goal to ruin my life."  
  
"You dumped her when you were engaged?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Well, yeah."  
  
"No wonder she's mad." Buffy said.  
  
"What did she say to you pet?" Spike asked.  
  
"Nothing much, just that she was your ex. I didn't really stick around to hear much more. Something you didn't tell me?"  
  
"No, no. Just curious luv."  
  
Buffy looked around the room awkwardly, she saw Wesley talking to Fred and Willow. Smiling, she turned back to Spike and stood up.  
  
"I'm really tired. Want to go back to your room?"  
  
"Sure pet."  
  
Spike stood as well and the two headed back to Spike's room. Once there, Buffy laid on the bed next to Spike and he wrapped his arm around her. Feeling safe in his arms, she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.  
  
~ Like? Hate? Tell me in a review. I want to get at least five reviews on this before I put up another chapter. So, if you want more, I suggest you review ~ 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~A/N~ K, I'm really trying to finish this story. I think that the last chapter is going to be somewhere in the twenties, or maybe even thirty. Thanks.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy woke up to find herself alone in Spike's room. Not even the shy Wesley was there. It kind of shocked her that Spike hadn't woken her up; this was Nikki's last goodbye. Quickly, she jumped from the bed and ran out the door to the front of the house. Nikki was standing there, along with Willow, Xander, Fred, Marge and two people Buffy didn't recognize. She thought they must be her new "parents". The man was older, with a grayish colour hair. He was dressed in a black shirt, which was tucked into a pair of grey slacks. They woman on the other hand was in a younger looking flower dress. She had long black hair and darker skin. Both looked like they had a lot of money, something Nikki lived without her whole life.  
  
"Buffy!" Nikki yelled, running over to her blonde friend.  
  
"Nikki, I'm so happy I didn't miss you." Buffy said, hugging her. "They look nice."  
  
"I don't care! I don't want to leave any of you. Especially Xander." Nikki said, tears blurring her vision.  
  
"Don't worry, we wont forget you. And I promise you that when I get out of here, I'll find you. And Xander, we'll all be back together again." Buffy said.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Promise."  
  
"C'mon Nikki. Time we get going." The older man told her, taking her one and only bag.  
  
Nikki looked at Buffy again, before heading over to Xander. He took her in his arms, kissing her passionately.  
  
"I love you Nikki." He whispered in her ear. "I always will, no matter what."  
  
"Me too. I love you too." Nikki said.  
  
"Lets go, we don't have all day." The woman said, walking out the door.  
  
"Bye." Nikki said, following her new "mother" out the door.  
  
Buffy couldn't hold them back any longer, she burst out into tears right there. Spike walked over to her and pulled her close to him. He didn't say a word as she cried on his shoulder. He just let her get out all the pain she was holding inside.  
  
~*~  
  
The music filled Buffy's ears as she walked into the Bronze. Making her way through the crowd, she spotted Willow, Spike and Xander off at a table. She wanted to join them, as she said she would, but she found herself walking in the opposite direction. It just wasn't the same without Nikki there. She walked up the stairs to the catwalk and leaned over the railing. She watched as the couples danced below her, one in particular that caught her eye. Faith and Angel. That just made Buffy's day all the merrier. Turning around to get away, her eyes locked with an all too familiar pair of hazel ones. Cursing under her breath, she once again tried to get away, this time failing horribly. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and stopped in her tracks.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Riley, please." Buffy said. "I don't want to deal with you right now."  
  
"Don't be like that."  
  
"Like what?" Buffy asked, turning. "Go on, tell me what."  
  
"Like you think you always get to decide when we get to talk. Just because you're having a bad day, we have to postpone. Well I've had enough Buffy; we're going to talk. Now." Riley said.  
  
"No, we're not. You don't tell me what I am going to do, got that?"  
  
"Right, that's mommy's job." Riley said and Buffy slapped him.  
  
"Don't you ever talk about my parents!" She said and ran off.  
  
This scene caused people to stop what they were doing and listen in. Willow saw her friend flee from above and went to get up, but Spike motioned for her to stay.  
  
"Let me." He said and she nodded. "Buffy!" He yelled as he stepped out into the fresh air. "Buffy, luv where are you?"  
  
He heard a faint sound coming from the corner of the alley. It sounded like a small child's whimper. He made his way closer to it and when his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw a petit figure.  
  
"Buffy?" He asked.  
  
"Go away." She said, hiding her face.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Go away." She repeated.  
  
"No, not until you tell me what's wrong. Are you crying?"  
  
"No." Buffy said, sniffing her tears back.  
  
He walked closer to her, noticing that her eyes were red from crying. He sat next to her on the cold, concrete ground and took her in his arms. He rocked her back and forth gently, wondering what had gotten her so upset.  
  
"C'mon luv, why won't you tell me?"  
  
"Because." Buffy started. "You already think I'm some cry baby that can't take care of herself."  
  
"No I don't. I think you are quite the opposite. There's nothing wrong with crying, especially with what you've been through."  
  
A small smile appeared on her face before turning back into a frown. Should she tell him about Riley? He'd probably go back in and defend her. But is that what she wanted?  
  
"He just . . . He was talking about talking, and then he talked about my mom and . . ."  
  
"Who?" Spike asked, more anger in his voice then before.  
  
"Ri . . . Riley." Buffy said.  
  
Spike carefully removed her from his grip and stood up. He walked back into the Bronze with a pissed off look on his face. Buffy waited a minute, drying her tears before getting up and following him in. Once inside, she looked around, not seeing Spike anywhere. Then, she heard a girl scream from the catwalk and she started to quicken her pace. Pushing through many people, finally she reached the top and saw Spike and Riley. Riley was getting up from the ground, blood dripping from his mouth. Willow appeared next to Buffy, along with Xander. They watched as another guy, came into help Riley and that's when Xander joined as well.  
  
"Oh no. This is all my fault." Buffy said, wrapping her arms around herself.  
  
"No Buffy, why . . . Why would you say that?" Willow asked.  
  
"Because, me and Riley got into a fight, then I made a big mistake in telling Spike. God, could my life get any worse?" Buffy asked.  
  
The two watched as their close friends battled it out with their enemies. Xander had successfully beaten one of Riley's friends and was about to help Spike when another came at him.  
  
"We should do something." Buffy said.  
  
"Like? You're not suggesting we go help." Willow said.  
  
"Spike is only going to end up getting himself killed, Xander too. Do you know how many friends Riley has?"  
  
"No, but I'm guessing more then Spike." Willow said.  
  
"A hell of a lot more then Spike." Buffy said.  
  
"Well, what should we do?" Willow asked.  
  
"I don't know . . . Um, maybe I could stop them. You know, the whole Riley still in love with me, Spike in love with me, who knows?" Buffy said, walking a few steps, then back. "I can't do this."  
  
"Buffy, I don't think you have a choice."  
  
Buffy took a deep breath before walking forward, into the battlegrounds. Neither of them stopped when she did, not noticing her at all. She coughed, but still got no response from either. So, she tried another technique, one that was quite useful. She screamed. Loud. Everyone in the Bronze froze, music and all, looking up at her. Once getting their attention, she quickly got to the point.  
  
"Stop it! Just stop it!" She yelled. "I don't want anyone to get hurt! Spike, please, just leave it."  
  
"But he . . ."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But if you truly love me, you'll walk away . . . With me. If not, then continue on fighting, but don't expect to ever talk to me again." Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy . . ." Spike said.  
  
"Your choice. Make it."  
  
He looked from Buffy to Riley, then back at Buffy. He wanted so badly to kick this guy's ass, but it wasn't worth losing Buffy over. With one last look at Riley, he took Buffy's hand and they walked down the stairs. It didn't even bug her, that he did this, she loved him, she did.  
  
~*~  
  
When the four got back to the house, it was still early so they had plenty of time to do as they wished. Xander sadly walked down the hall into his room. He didn't want to be around anyone, he didn't seem to want to live. Buffy was going to ask him to play some basketball, you know, clear his mind. But, she decided to just leave him be. Willow, Spike and Buffy all headed back to Spike's room. Wesley was in there, along with Fred. Without even noticing -or caring- that they had interrupted their conversation, they sat on Spike's bed. Wesley stared at them for a minute; he didn't understand them at all.  
  
"Oh, did we uh . . ." Willow said.  
  
"No, its okay Willow. We were just talking." Fred said. "But we could go to my room I guess."  
  
"Oh, okay." Willow said and watched them leave. "I think I'm going to go get ready."  
  
"Huh?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Right, I forgot." Willow said, a smile appearing on her face. "I have a date with Oz tonight."  
  
"Oh my god Will that's great!" Buffy said, hugging her.  
  
"Yeah, so I think I should go get ready. I mean, if you want to come. Which you probably don't."  
  
"No, I think a date is usually just supposed to be for the guy and girl. Unless you were a lesbian. Or gay." Buffy said. "Which you're not. Right?"  
  
"What? No!" Willow said, standing. "I'll see you two later. Bye."  
  
"Yeah, make sure to fill me in!" Buffy said.  
  
"I will." Willow said and disappeared.  
  
"So . . ." Buffy said. "Uh, can we talk about earlier?"  
  
"Go ahead luv." He said.  
  
"Well, I wanted to thank you, in a way. It was sweet of you to beat Riley up and all. But, you wouldn't stand a chance against all of his friends. Besides, I didn't want to lose you. Spike, Nikki left today. They just, shipped her off to someone else. What if that happens to you? I mean, I don't think I could . . . Look at Xander now. He's crushed; he just doesn't want to live anymore. He loves Nikki so bad and . . . I don't know." Buffy said.  
  
"I know pet. It's okay though, I'm not going anywhere, I promise."  
  
"But you cant. That's not something you can promise Spike, its just not."  
  
"Buffy, I'm not Nikki. They'll have to fight me to get me away from you. Don't worry luv." He said, smiling at her.  
  
She looked at him and laid her head on his chest. He was so sweet; she just wanted to be with him forever. But she couldn't just, well, be with him, could she? Sure, Riley hurt her, but she has to understand that Spike isn't Riley, he never will be. He loves her. Right? 'Oh my, not thinking here. I don't trust people remember?' Buffy thought. 'Then why do I find myself trusting him so badly?' Buffy looked up at his face, his blue eyes were staring back at her, sparkling. His lips were so nice to taste, so . . . Spike. She lifted one of her fingers up to his lips and traced them with the tip. She was ready.  
  
"Spike, I . . . I'm ready."  
  
He didn't quite understand. At first he just tilted his head a bit, causing Buffy to smile. Then he remembered.  
  
"Buffy . . . If you're not . . . I don't want to seem like I'm pushing you."  
  
"You aren't Spike. Trust me. This decision, it was a hundred percent Buffy's." She said. "I'm ready to be with you. My heart. My body. My mind. My soul. Everything. If you still want . . ."  
  
He cut her off with a kiss. He was too happy to speak, she wanted him now, and she admitted it. She loved him and he loved her and now they could finally show just how much they cared.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy's head rested on a sleeping Spike's chest. She ran her fingers through his now messed up blonde hair. That was the best night of her life and she only hoped he felt the same. He was her first and even though she wasn't his, it was like a whole new experience. She jumped slightly when the door opened. Quickly she tried to hide herself under the sheets.  
  
"Oh my!" Willow gasped. "Sorry." She squealed and closed the door.  
  
This caused Spike to wake up, sitting up abruptly. Buffy couldn't help but laugh at what had just happened. 'Poor Willow.' She thought.  
  
"What happened?" He asked.  
  
"Willow came in. No biggy. Morning Spike." Buffy said, curling up to him.  
  
"Mornin' pet. Last night was . . ."  
  
"Awful? Was I that bad?"  
  
"I never said that. It was amazing. I've never . . . Its hard to explain . . . I don't even know if its explainable." Spike said.  
  
"I agree." Buffy sighed. "But I'm hungry."  
  
"Well, why don't we go out for breakfast then? We could use a different taste of food." Spike said.  
  
"Really? But . . . Money." Buffy pouted. "You got my hopes up."  
  
"'S okay luv. I got some."  
  
"You do?" She asked, smiling. "Yay! Where are we going to go?"  
  
"You pick."  
  
"Umm . . . Wherever there's cheese." Buffy said.  
  
"Cheese girl are we?"  
  
"Yes we are." Buffy said. "I have a cheese shirt." She said, sounding proud.  
  
"Cheese it is. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll come get you?" Spike asked.  
  
"Okay." Buffy said, kissing him on the cheek. "See you soon."  
  
Spike watched as she bounced of the bed, wrapped in the sheet. Carefully, she snuck out of the room and into hers. It felt to empty to her, she didn't want to be in it anymore now that Nikki was gone. It brought back memories, memories she didn't need. A tear slid down her cheek as she realized the picture that sat on the dresser. It was a picture of Nikki and her parents, one of many. It sat next to a picture of Buffy and hers; surrounded by little paper hearts they had cut out. Wiping the tear away, Buffy began to search through her clothes for something breakfasty to wear.  
  
~ Mhm . . . Well, that's it. Hope you liked, if you didn't, well, tell me I guess. Um, more will come if I get reviews. Thanks to all the people who have reviewed so far ~ 


	12. Chapter 12

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
.:A/N:. I want to thank all of you who reviewed the last chapter: Elizance, Firetail1, maeve, RougeCrayon and Courtney. Firetail1, thanks for saying that. I'm glad you liked my story so much to actually review, I'm happy =0) LoL. Um, yeah it did have to do with the ep. Well, that's it. Enjoy this chapter and review some more!!  
  
~*~  
  
Spike and Buffy walked down the street to small breakfast place that Spike had heard of. Buffy was in her CHEESE shirt and a pair of faded jeans that fit her perfectly. Spike had his fingers intertwined with hers and it made her feel protected.  
  
"So, have you ever actually been to this place before?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Well, no. But Xander has." Spike said. "You trust Xander."  
  
"Yeah, I guess. Spike, what are we going to do?"  
  
"What do you mean luv?"  
  
"Well, Xander, what are we going to do? He's obviously not the same. None of us are." Buffy said.  
  
"Not much we can do."  
  
"You could talk to him Spike, it might help."  
  
"I don't know." Spike said. "Not real good at the heart to hearts."  
  
"Are you telling me that you wont help one of your best friends because of some testosterone?"  
  
"Pretty much."  
  
"Oh my god. I don't believe you."  
  
Spike sighed. "Fine, you win. I'll talk to the Whelp."  
  
"Thank you." Buffy said and jumped up to kiss him on the cheek.  
  
~*~  
  
'Knock.'  
  
"Come in." Xander said.  
  
Spike opened the door and walked in. Xander was lying on his bed, tossing a basketball into the air and catching it just before it reached his face.  
  
"Spike man, what do you want?"  
  
"To talk. Xander, we're all worried about you." Spike said, sitting next to him.  
  
"Well, don't. I'm perfectly fine. The only person I've ever loved is gone, don't worry, I'm peachy."  
  
"Xander, we all feel bad that Nikki is gone. Don't you think Buffy cries? She's heartbroken. They were close, she knows how you feel and so do I. If it was Buffy, I would kill myself." Spike said.  
  
"Thanks for the idea." Xander said.  
  
"Come on mate, you got to perk up. Nikki isn't gone for ever. She's waiting for you on the outside and if you kill yourself, well, she'll kill herself." Spike said and sighed. "I'm not good at the whole heart to heart guy talk. If you must know, this was all Buffy's idea. Not that I don't want to help, I just . . ."  
  
"I understand." Xander said. "I wont do anything stupid, I just, and it hurts."  
  
"Well, not much I can do, is there?" Spike asked.  
  
"No." Xander said, a tear silently falling.  
  
"Don't cry man." Spike said.  
  
"Sorry." Xander said, wiping it away. "I just . . ."  
  
"No, go on, let it out."  
  
"But . . ."  
  
"It wont leave this room." Spike said and Xander smiled.  
  
"Thank you Spike."  
  
"No problem. Maybe I should . . . Go."  
  
"Yeah. I'll catch up with you later."  
  
"Okay, we could . . . Uh, talk . . . Some more." Spike said, standing.  
  
"Yeah, man to man." Xander said.  
  
"Right then. Bye." Spike said and quickly left.  
  
He closed to door and sighed. 'Well that was harder then I thought.' He thought. 'What was I thinking? Another talk? Ha, right.'  
  
"Spike, how'd it go?" Buffy asked, walking over to him.  
  
"Um, great pet."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'm just going to go to bed. Chores were extra hard today, now that Nikki isn't here to make them fun." Buffy said.  
  
"What time is it anyways?" Spike asked.  
  
"Uh, I think its 6:30."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Want to come to bed with me? Well, in the sense of sleeping. Because I'm tired."  
  
He laughed. "Yeah, I would."  
  
"Come on." Buffy said and took his hand.  
  
The two walked into Buffy's room and Buffy sat on her bed.  
  
"Ugh, I'm too tired to change. Can I just sleep in my clothes?" She asked.  
  
"Be my guest." Spike said and looked at the dresser. "I never noticed this before."  
  
He picked up the picture of Buffy and her family. He traced over Buffy's figure and stared at the picture perfect family. He couldn't remember ever having a family picture taken before.  
  
"That is my parents, you know Dawn." Buffy said, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Yeah, they look nice, happy." Spike said, setting it back down.  
  
"We were. Were." She whispered.  
  
"Oh luv." He said.  
  
Spike sat next to her and she fell into his arms. Tears soaked his shirt and he ran his fingers through her blonde hair. She pulled back, her mascara running down her face.  
  
"Sleep time?" She asked.  
  
He nodded and the two laid down. Buffy rested her head on his chest and stared up at him. He kissed her on the forehead and she closed her eyes.  
  
"I love you Buffy Summers."  
  
~ Okay, well, yeah, updating day. Heh, pretend to care. Anyways, review please ~ 


	13. Chapter 13

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~*~  
  
During the middle of the night, Buffy woke, startled. Looking around, she realized Spike had left her, why had he left her? She needed to find him, she needed to see him. Quickly, she stood up, still in her clothes from earlier. Opening the door and sticking her head out, she noticed no one was around. Moving in one swift motion, Buffy flew into Spike and Wesley's shared room and over to his bed. He was there, sound asleep. Taking a deep breath, Buffy crawled in the bed next to him and stared at his closed eyes. 'It was just a dream . . . Scratch that, nightmare.' Buffy thought.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Buffy, luv, I'm leaving."  
  
Spike sat on her bed, in the room that was once shared with Nikki. She felt tears starting to form and let them silently fall down her cheeks. The room once held a feeling of comfort, love, now all it was, was a lonely, cold room full of vengeance and hate. Buffy wanted to get out of it, get out of here. But, that wasn't possible, not until a family wanted her. No one ever would.  
  
"No! You're lying! You wouldn't leave me . . . You cant. Spike, I need you. I love you."  
  
"Buffy, 's not that simple. I don't choose if I leave or not pet. If I did, you think I'd leave you? Never."  
  
"But, you said that they would have to kill you to get you away from me."  
  
"And so they shall." Spike said, standing.  
  
"What are you talking about? Where are you going?!" Buffy cried, running after him.  
  
"Go back to the room." Spike ordered.  
  
"No, I'm following you." Buffy said, standing her ground.  
  
"As you wish luv."  
  
Spike stalked off, down the long hall to the main entrance. There stood three police officers, guns and all, ready to take Spike away from her. 'What is he going to do? Kill himse . . . No.' Buffy thought.  
  
"Spike, don't do this." Buffy said. "Go, go be in a nice home, go be happy."  
  
"'S not possible. Can't be happy without you. And if I have to die, just to not live without you, then I'm willing to do so."  
  
"But what about me? Don't you care? Spike, the last thing I want is for you to be dead. We could . . . We will meet up on the outside, when I leave here. We'll be together again, forever. Just, don't do this."  
  
"Too late. I love you."  
  
Spike turned his back to her, facing the officers. He pulled a knife that he had taken from the kitchen out from the inner pocket of his jacket. None of the officers realized this until it was too late. Spike's body fell lifeless to the ground, a pool of blood surrounding his unmoving body. Buffy watched in horror. Spike was dead.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Thank god it was just a nightmare." Buffy said, running her fingers through his blonde locks. "God, I love you so much Spike, never leave me."  
  
"I wont."  
  
Buffy jumped as she heard Spike's voice and watched as he opened his eyes. He studied her, her face looked as if she had seen a ghost, or something bigger, badder then that. Not a lot can frighten this girl, he knew that. She was strong.  
  
"What the bloody hell happened?" Spike asked, sitting up.  
  
"I . . . I had a nightmare." Buffy began. "That you . . . That . . . That you . . ."  
  
"That I what luv?"  
  
"Died! That you died! Spike, it scared me so much and then when I woke up and you weren't there, I thought that maybe I wasn't dreaming, that maybe you had actually died. Spike, don't ever leave me. I wouldn't be able to . . . I wouldn't be able to live." Buffy said, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably.  
  
"SHH baby, I wont. I promise. Come here, it was just a dream. I'm here, with you."  
  
Spike took her in his arms and rocked her back and forth in a steady motion. Wesley watched from the other bed, unnoticed. He was amazed at how much they were in love and realized that some things you just don't know are special to you until you feel you've lost them.  
  
~ Hehe, bad chapter, I know. But, meh. Review ~ 


	14. Chapter 14

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~*~  
  
Buffy stared out of the bus window. Houses blurred as they quickly drove by them. Looking down to her hand, she noticed that Spike held it. She hadn't even felt him take it in his, she was too scared. Scared of what might happen. Behind her, Willow sat, playing with her red hair. The three had hopped the closest bus as soon as they had heard what was going on.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Marge walked into Buffy's now single room. No one was with her, just a phone in hand. Buffy sat on her bed and looked up at her. She handed Buffy the phone without saying who it was or what they wanted.  
  
"Ten minutes," Was all she said before leaving.  
  
Buffy's face lit up, she though maybe Dawn had called and maybe . . . No, Marge would never be that nice to let her talk to her sister. This had to be someone with money, someone with power, but who?  
  
"Hello?" Buffy asked quietly.  
  
'Ms. Summers?'  
  
"Yes, who's this?"  
  
'My name is Michelle Laval; I'm a nurse here at Sunnydale General. I'm afraid I have some bad news.'  
  
"What's wrong? Is it Spike?"  
  
'Spike? No, I don't know who that is. Your friend, or so I'm aware, Alexander Harris, has been in an accident.'  
  
"I'm sorry but I don't know an Alex . . . Xander," Buffy said, "What happened to him?"  
  
'Well, it appears he had a few too many to drink. Got himself hit by a car, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but I don't know if he'll make it.'  
  
Buffy dropped the phone. 'No. Xander couldn't be . . . Oh my god, Nikki,' Buffy thought. Noises from the phone caused her to snap out of it and she picked up the phone.  
  
'Ms?'  
  
"I'm here."  
  
'Visiting hours are over at midnight, its only six o clock now, if you'd care to come down,' Michelle said.  
  
"Of course, I'll be right there," Buffy said and hung up.  
  
She stood up, placed the phone on the bedroom table and quickly ran out of the room. She didn't bother to change out of her sweats and tee, Xander was more important then clothes. She had to find Spike and Willow; they had to know as well.  
  
Frantically Buffy searched every room, lastly the Chill Room, where she found her friends. She didn't have time to explain, Xander was on his deathbed, they'd just have to trust her and luckily they did.  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
The bus stopped at its final destination, the hospital parking lot. The three friends walked off and stood for a minute, exchanging worried glances. Spike pulled Buffy into him and she looked up at him.  
  
"What if he's already dead?"  
  
"SHH, don't think it pet, he's fine. Xander's a fighter," Spike reassured.  
  
Buffy tried to smile, but it wasn't happening, how could she smile when one of her closest friends was lying in there, hurt. Buffy took a deep breath before walking forward. Hospitals were the one place she couldn't stand, a place she dreaded the sight, the smell of. This was hard for her, but with Spike by her side, she could do anything. 


	15. Chapter 15

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~*~  
  
The hospital doors swung open and Buffy, Spike and Willow walked inside. The disgusting smell floated up Buffy's nose, causing her to gag. Spike intertwined his fingers with hers for support; he knew just how much she disliked being here. It wasn't his favourite place either.  
  
The three friends found what appeared to be the main desk. An older lady sat there in a chair, a phone resting on her shoulder while she jotted something down. Once being done with the call, she rested the phone on the counter and looked up at them.  
  
"May I help you?"  
  
"Y-Yes, we're looking for Alexander Harris," Buffy said.  
  
"Alexan . . . Oh, here he is," She said, while searching the computer files, "Room B235."  
  
"Thanks," Willow said as she saw Spike and Buffy rush past her, "Guys, wait for Willow!"  
  
Willow caught up to the couple out of breath. They were standing by the elevator, waiting for it to come down to the first floor, the one they stood on.  
  
"Stupid long taking elevator," Buffy mumbled.  
  
The doors slid open and an older woman in a wheelchair came out, following an older man, who she guessed was her husband. Buffy watched as he took the handles of the chair and began to push her down the hall. 'That could be me and Spike one day. One day a long time from now. I don't want to look like a prune,' Buffy thought. 'No, concentrate on Xander, not old people.'  
  
"Here."  
  
Spike's voice knocked her out of her thoughts, showing her that she was no longer on the elevator, but appeared to be quite a ways away from it. 'I was walking?'  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Willow asked.  
  
"What if . . . How bad do you think?"  
  
"Tell us again Buffy, what happened to him?" Spike asked.  
  
"Um, drunk . . . He was drunk and got himself hit," Buffy said. "Should we call someone? I mean, does he have some. . . Nikki."  
  
"Oh god," Willow said. "I'll go now."  
  
Buffy smiled as Willow ran off to call Nikki, she was a great friend and even though they'd just met a while ago, it was like they knew each other for life. Nikki. What would Willow tell her? 'Your boyfriend is lying on his death bed, and oh yeah, how are you in your new home?'  
  
"C'mon luv," Spike said, pulling her ever so gently by the hand. "It'll all be okay."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
The two walked inside the room, noticing that their friend was not the only one in the room. Two other beds sat around the room, occupied by teenagers, one a broken arm, the other lying on the bed, looking awfully sick. They couldn't see Xander, because a curtain surrounded the last bed. 'Is this the right room?' Buffy thought.  
  
"Can I help you two?" A young woman asked from behind them.  
  
"Um, yes," Buffy said, turning around, "I'm Buffy Summers and a nurse called . . ."  
  
"Michelle Laval. Nice to meet you, I'm guessing this is Spike?" She asked, a smile on her tanned face.  
  
"Yeah, it is. Xander, where is he? We were told that he was in this room."  
  
"He is," Michelle said, "But, he's getting his EKG done at the moment, you could take a seat if you like."  
  
"EK what?" Buffy asked.  
  
"You know those stickers?" Buffy nodded, "Well, you add wires to them, stick them in certain places and it takes your heart rate and that. Don't worry, he cant feel it at all."  
  
"Okay," Buffy said. "About the sitting."  
  
"I'm afraid there's only one chair," Michelle said.  
  
"That's alright, we can share," Spike said, sitting down, patting his knee.  
  
Buffy smiled at him and sat down, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Spike, I'm scared. What if Xander doesn't make it? What would Nikki do? God, how stupid is he! How could he do this to her, us?"  
  
"Its okay pet, I don't think he meant to hurt anyone."  
  
"Well he did."  
  
"She's on her way!" Willow yelled, running into the room.  
  
"Will, keep it down," Buffy shushed, "You're going to get us in some shit."  
  
"Oops. Nikki's on her way. She said it wouldn't be easy, but if it means Xander, then nothing can stop her. How is he?"  
  
"I don't know. They're taking his CAJ," Buffy said, surely.  
  
Spike chuckled, "Its EKG luv."  
  
"That's what I said."  
  
"Excuse me?" Michelle said, poking her head out from the curtain, "You can see him now."  
  
They all stood, Buffy squeezing Spike's hand so hard he thought he might be joining Xander in here. The nurse pushed back the curtain to reveal a sleeping Xander, or so it seemed. His eyes fluttered open and he stared at his friends. Buffy thought he might have lost his memory the way he was searching over them, but then it hit her, he wasn't looking over them, he was looking for Nikki.  
  
"Hey Xand," Buffy said, sitting on his bedside. "How you feeling?"  
  
"Hi," Xander more so coughed then spoke.  
  
"We called Nikki, she'll be here as soon as she can," Willow added.  
  
"You had us so worried. Don't ever do that again, you here me?" Buffy said.  
  
Xander smiled, "I'm glad . . . You're here."  
  
"And we aren't going to leave," Spike said.  
  
~*~  
  
A while passed, about an hour or two, and Willow, Spike and Buffy still sat by Xander's side. They weren't about to leave their best friend. At least not until Nikki came, then it wouldn't be right to stay.  
  
"I'm going to go down to the café, any volunteers to join?" Spike asked.  
  
"I'll go. Will, would you mind?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Of course not," Willow said, turning to face Buffy, "Me and Xand here can talk some."  
  
Buffy stood up from her comfy spot on Spike's lap and he too stood. She stretched before slowly jogging to catch up to Spike who had already gone. When she caught up, she wrapped her arms around his torso.  
  
"I'm so glad you're here with me Spike."  
  
"Me too luv. Now, what would you like?" Spike asked.  
  
"And what do you expect to pay with Mr.? I'm not letting you steal from the hospital, that's just cruel."  
  
"I have some money," Buffy looked at him funny, "What? Saying I'm not a money man eh?"  
  
"Something like that," Buffy sighed, "I don't care, I just want some food please? My tummy needs some yummy."  
  
"A plate of yummy coming right up," Spike said.  
  
As Spike paid for the food Buffy had so carefully picked out, Buffy's eyes wandered around the hospital entrance. The doors got her attention though, when they opened and a young girl who appeared too familiar to Buffy ran in, panicked.  
  
"Nikki!" Buffy yelled and ran to her.  
  
"Oh my god Buffy! Where's Xander, is he okay?"  
  
"Um," Buffy hesitated, "Yeah, he's fine right now, from what they tell us. Bad shape though, c'mon I'll take you to him."  
  
"Wait," Nikki said, hugging her, "Just wanted to do that."  
  
Buffy smiled, "Lets just wait for Spike to get my food and then we'll all head up, okay?"  
  
"Alright."  
  
~ Ek, short, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad chapter!! I know, its sucks! Ah, but review! ~ 


	16. Chapter 16

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
.:A/N:. I want to say one thing. Sleeplessdreamerfan4lyf I love you. You're the same person that reviewed my other stories right? Just checking, you know, cause there's kind of a theme there with the names. But, if you are and even if you aren't I love you! You're so unbelievably nice! Keep reviewing and I'll keep updating! Sorry for such a short chapter, I can't say I'll have anymore up soon. Its hard to find time to write.  
  
~~**~~  
  
"Here's your food pet, all set to go upstairs?" Spike asked, bringing over a plate filled with food to the two girls.  
  
"I kind of lost my appetite Spike," Buffy said, making sure to smile at him.  
  
"I just paid a bleeding five dollars for this, I coulda bought, well, flowers for you, something you'd actually keep," Spike said.  
  
"Awe, you'd buy flowers for me?"  
  
"Enough with the love, can we go see my boyfriend now?" Nikki asked.  
  
"Right," Buffy said, "He's in room B235."  
  
~~**~~  
  
Nikki sat by Xander's bed, his hand in hers. She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips before settling back down in the chair. Buffy, Spike and Willow had left them to be alone for a while, to talk. They needed to do that.  
  
"Xander, my god. Why did you-How could you-"  
  
"I'm sorry," Xander said.  
  
"Don't be sorry. Actually, yeah, be sorry. What were you thinking? Going out alone and getting wasted? You could have been killed Xander! What then? Do you honestly think I could live without you? It's bad enough that we're not together! I don't need to be worrying about you 24/7."  
  
"I know. It was stupid of me. I just . . . I felt like I'd lost you. That we weren't together anymore."  
  
"We are baby, we always will be. When we both turn eighteen, which isn't too far away, we'll be living together, but just because we aren't now, does not mean we aren't together! If you had . . . What if you . . ."  
  
"I'm not dead Nik," Xander said, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.  
  
"But you could be. When Willow called me Xander, I . . ." Nikki stopped when she began to break down into tears. Xander looked up at her, sympathy in his eyes. He saw now what he was putting her through and wished he could take it all back.  
  
"SHH, don't cry, please," he said. "I promise you, I wont do anything like that again."  
  
"If you do, and you don't die, I will kill you myself," Nikki said and they both smiled.  
  
~~**~~  
  
"Spike I'm worried about Xander, the nurse. I mean she said that he might. . . But he's talking, and he looks fine, so why wont he be okay Spike?" Buffy cried into Spike's shoulder. The two sat out in the waiting room alone, while Willow was gone somewhere to give them some privacy. Buffy sat in Spike's arms, tears pouring down her face at the very thought of losing her friend.  
  
"Its okay pet, Xand's going to be fine. Don't you worry," Spike said, kissing his forehead. "And when he's out of the hospital, we're all going to go . . . Somewhere, Nikki too. On me."  
  
"Spike, that's so nice. You're so nice. I love you so much. Promise me you'll never do anything stupid like Xander did, promise me you'll never die," Buffy said, bringing out a fresh stream of tears.  
  
"Does any of this have to do with the dream you had luv? Cause I am not dying, I wont ever leave you."  
  
"Maybe a little . . . It scared me Spike, it was so real," Buffy said. "But, can we not talk about that? Can you just hold me?"  
  
"Anything you want Buffy, anything you want," Spike said as he wrapped his arms around her small frame. 


	17. Chapter 17

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Buffy opened her eyes to see Spike sitting in the chair beside her. She sat up, stretching, "Hi."  
  
"Have a good rest?"  
  
She smiled, "Yeah. What time is it?"  
  
"Nearly eight o clock. You were tired luv. We should get going, visitor hours are over at eight and I'm sure they don't need us crowding the room," Spike said standing. "Xander will be fine Buffy," he reassured when he saw her worried face. "They'll probably let Nikki stay with him, and if they don't, well I'm positive she wont leave him. Now, come on, where's Willow?"  
  
"Present," Willow said, walking into the room. "I was just talking to Nikki. She said she'll call if there's any change but we should go."  
  
"Told you," Spike said.  
  
"Okay, I guess. What time does the next bus come?"  
  
"Eight thirty," Willow said. "But it doesn't hurt to be early."  
  
"Yeah, with the lack of energy I'm feeling we might be late," Buffy said, yawning.  
  
~~**~~  
  
The three walked off the bus and started up the road towards the house. They knew that Marge would probably let it slide this time, but she'd be on their backs first thing tomorrow morning. Buffy felt like going to sleep and never waking up. She wanted Spike to stay with her the night, and knew he would without her even asking. She needed him right now, and even though he didn't admit it as much, he loved having her around in such a time.  
  
"Home sweet home," Willow said as they walked through the door. "I'm off to bed, I'm beat. I'll talk to you guys tomorrow?"  
  
"Sure thing Will, night," Buffy said and watched as her friend disappeared into the room. "My bed or yours?"  
  
"Yours. More privacy," he smirked.  
  
"You know I'm not in the mood for anything, so don't even try. I'm so tired I could just lay down right here."  
  
"Unless you want to wake up to the sweet sound of Marge yelling in your ear, I suggest you make it to your bed," Spike laughed as the two opened the door to her room. 


	18. Chapter 18

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
.:A/N:. I'm ending this soon, like next chappy or so. Bout that. So, please review, I'd like to get at least two before writing another chapter. And don't expect updates soon cause I'm really busy with everything, I'm just trying to finish up these stories man. Its hard.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Buffy woke up and turned around so that she faced Spike. He too was just waking up and when he smiled at her, she leaned over and kissed him gently.  
  
"Mornin' luv," he said.  
  
"Hi." She sighed, "I'm still tired. Do we have to do chores today? I mean, cant she just give us the day off?"  
  
"Don't think it works that way pet, sorry."  
  
"Too bad. Guess she'll just have to settle for a tired Buffy."  
  
"I think she'll love tired Buffy as much as I do," Spike said.  
  
"You like tired me?"  
  
"I like all of Buffy."  
  
She smiled and sat up, "I better get dressed. I need some food to make me move."  
  
"I'll go get you some. You can lay here for a minute," Spike said, standing up. He kissed her on the forehead before disappearing out the door in the same clothes he wore yesterday.  
  
Buffy managed to roll out of bed and stumble over to her closet. She pulled out a pair of pajama pants and a sweatshirt that had the logo of Harvard on it. She wasn't quite sure whom she got it from, or why they gave it to her, but she'd had it since she could remember. It was almost like a keepsake, a security blanket of some sort.  
  
Once dressed in some comfortable clothing, she flopped down on the bed and closed her eyes. Last night she had dreamed of her and Spike getting married. It was a wonderful dream, one that she'd look forward to for the rest of her life. She couldn't imagine life without him in it; it just wasn't possible to her.  
  
"I got you some . . . Well, I'm not quite sure," Spike said, setting a tray down on the bedside table.  
  
"What about you? Aren't you going to eat anything?"  
  
"Not hungry. I'll sneak something later on. You eat up now," he said. "I should get to my chores early."  
  
"Okay. I don't think she'll notice if I start mine a little late, do you?" Spike shook his head and Buffy smiled, "Good."  
  
"Right then. I'll see you later pet," Spike said, kissing her forehead.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Buffy had finished her chores and was going to go lay in her bed for a while when she decided to stop by Spike's room. She opened the door to see Spike looking a bit ticked off. She walked over to his bed, and that's when Wesley came into view. She knew Spike didn't like him very much, but she never understood why. To her, Wesley seemed nice and smart. Maybe Spike felt threatened by Wesley, because she thought that. Buffy laughed out loud.  
  
Spike looked up from the spot on the floor and his expression changed when he saw Buffy. She smiled at him and walked over before sitting next to him on the bed. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, "How are you luv?"  
  
"I think I broke a nail while I was taking out the garbage. But, other than that, I'm good. You?"  
  
"Good now that you're here."  
  
"Hi Wes," Buffy said, slightly waving to the boy sitting on the bed reading. He just nodded at her. Buffy felt Spike's grip on her tighten and again she couldn't help but giggle.  
  
"What's so funny pet?"  
  
"N-Nothing. Just felt like laughing," she smiled.  
  
"Right."  
  
"Don't be so uptight Spike. You need to give Wes a break. If its cause you think I'm in to him or something, you're stupid. No offense Wes," she said and he gave her a nod. "But really, Wes likes Fred, Fred likes Wes. I like you, you like me. See how there's no I like Wes, Wes likes me in there?"  
  
"He just . . . He looks at you," Spike said.  
  
"Who wouldn't?" Buffy laughed.  
  
"Not funny pet. You know what I get like when I'm jealous."  
  
"Sexy?" she asked, raising her eyebrow and kissing his cheek. "No wait, you're always sexy."  
  
"Can you two not," Wesley said from across the room. "Some people care about their brain cells."  
  
"Leave then. Not a problem with me," Spike said. "I don't think Buffy'll miss you too much herself."  
  
"Say Wes, why don't you go over to Fred's room? I think Willow is still hanging with the babies, I'm sure you two can squeeze in some make out time before she gets back."  
  
"Me and Fred are not like that," Wesley said.  
  
"Right and me and Spike aren't in love. Now go," Buffy said.  
  
Wesley put down his book and sat up, "Fine, you win. Good day."  
  
Buffy snuggled into Spike's arms and laid her head against his chest, "See how easy that was? And I did it without hurting his feelings."  
  
"You're like that pet, something I could never be, you're sweet," he said, kissing her forehead. "Now, what do you want to do? You name it, I'll try my best to please you."  
  
"Mm, I don't know. A backrub sounds nice for right about now."  
  
"As you wish."  
  
Spike stood up, along with Buffy. He locked the bedroom door before searching through his drawers for some cream, when he didn't find any; he looked in Wesley's and found a small bottle of hand lotion. He laughed as he brought it back to Buffy who had taken her shirt off and lain down on the bed on her stomach. Spike had to take a deep breath before sitting down on the bed next to her, her beauty was something like he'd never seen before.  
  
"Cant promise this wont hurt. Tell me when you want me to stop luv," Spike said.  
  
"I trust you."  
  
Spike rubbed some hand cream on his hands and began to massage her back. (Okay, I know nothing about massaging so just bear with me here). The cream, along with just the right amount of massaging from Spike, caused Buffy's muscles to relax like nothing before. She felt so at peace, so safe. 'What did he mean by 'cant promise this wont hurt'? Its amazing,' Buffy thought. Small moans escaped her lips and Spike found it hard to contain himself. His girlfriend was lying half naked below him on his bed, how is that not tempting? He managed though, somehow and he just hoped he could keep it up.  
  
~Sorry to stop it here, but you know. . . LoL~ 


	19. Chapter 19: The Last Chapter

Title: I Don't Want To Be Alone  
  
Summary: A/U Buffy Summers parents died in a car accident, with no other family she goes to live in a foster home. There she befriends a girl that understands her and falls in love with a guy, Spike. But what happens when Spike leaves? She fears she will be alone.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them, except for Nikki and the odd person I'll make up you know, oh and Marge. Yeah. But the whole BtVS crew are Joss's.  
  
.:A/N:. Yeah, so this is the last chapter of the story. It is a crappy one, yes, but I needed to finish it so please, listen: I AM SO SORRY IT SUCKS! But hey, I am thinking. Thinking of doing a sequel. Possibly when I finish all my other stories, I will do a sequel on this. I already have some ideas so please don't hate me.  
  
~~**~~  
  
The door opened and Spike walked into the house with Xander leaning on him for support. They had gone to the hospital earlier that day and Xander was being let out. He was told he would be fine, but to rest for a few days before doing anything serious. The accident had left him shaken up and pretty sore, but Buffy knew that his talk with Nikki had set him straight. Buffy walked in behind the two, and Willow followed her. They stopped and watched as Spike helped him into his room.  
  
"Want to get something to drink?" Willow asked.  
  
"No, you go ahead. I think I'm going to head back to my room for a minute. If Spike asks, tell him I'm asleep okay?"  
  
"Why, are you two in a fight?" Willow asked, concerned.  
  
"Fight? No Will, I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep the past few nights, I need some time alone is all," Buffy said. "He'll understand."  
  
"Okay, night," Willow said and walked off into the kitchen.  
  
Buffy smiled at her friend before making her way over to her room. As she opened the door, she felt a little frightened and saddened at what was before her. A young girl, the same age as Buffy laid on the bed that Nikki once occupied. She had long, black hair and bright blue eyes that were filled with coldness. Buffy was almost afraid to take another step into the room, thinking that she was just imagining things. But she knew she wasn't. Someone else had been assigned to this room. Why she was so surprised? She didn't know. She knew that someone eventually would take Nikki's place.  
  
"You Buffy?" the girl asked and all Buffy could do was nod. "I'm Chloe. Guess I'm your new roomy."  
  
"I guess," Buffy said, finally finding the strength to move and sat on her bed.  
  
"Don't feel too excited or anything."  
  
"Sorry. My friend just got out of the hospital is all. I'm kinda . . . tired."  
  
"Oh. Okay, I'll go away then," Chloe said, stood and left without another word.  
  
Buffy laid down on her bed and closed her eyes. She tried to get to sleep, she needed it but it just wouldn't come.  
  
~~**~~  
  
Knock Knock  
  
Spike stood and walked over to open his room door. Marge came inside, a couple shortly behind her. Spike's gut dropped at the sight of his mom and dad and felt as if he was going to faint.  
  
"William," his mom said, hugging him.  
  
"What-What are you doing here mum?"  
  
"Not happy to see us? We're here to take you home. Your father and I worked things out William and we'd like if you'd come back home now."  
  
"No. No I can't go. I wont go," Spike said, sitting on his bed.  
  
"You WANT to stay here son?" his father asked.  
  
"I'm not your son," Spike said coldly. "You never cared about me, you were never there. And now that I find someone who bloody does, you . . .You come and take me away from her!"  
  
"If this is about a girl . . ." his father said.  
  
"Its about more than just a girl. Its about the girl I'm bloody in love with. You can't make me leave her, I wont."  
  
"William please," his mother said, touching his shoulder.  
  
"Leave me alone," Spike said and ran out. He walked only a few short steps before opening the door to Buffy's room. He saw that she was asleep and quietly walked over to her bed. He laid down beside her and wrapped his arm around her tiny waist. He kissed her forehead and she woke up at his touch. "SHH luv, 's just me. Go back to sleep," he said, a tear sliding down his cheek.  
  
"Spike, wh-what's wrong? Are you crying?" Buffy asked, sitting up.  
  
"Nothing's wrong pet, just lay back down and get some rest."  
  
"No. Not until you tell me why you're so upset," Buffy said but he didn't need to answer. Spike's parents walked into the room, followed by Marge. Buffy stared at them, not recognizing them. But she knew what they came for: Spike. "No," she cried. "Spike you cant leave me."  
  
"I wont. They can't take me away from you baby," Spike said wrapping his arms around her.  
  
She leaned in to his embrace and stained his shirt with her tears. "Yes Spike, they can."  
  
"William, we have to be leaving soon," his mother said. "Pack whatever things you have, say your good-byes and meet us out in the car."  
  
Spike didn't look to his parents as they left the room but kept a tight hold on Buffy. When finally they left, she pulled away. "Spike, I don't want you to go. I don't want to be alone."  
  
"I won't go luv. I will die before I leave you," he said, wiping away her tears.  
  
"No, you won't Spike," Buffy said, holding back tears.  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying I love you but I want you to have a life Spike. I don't want you to spend more years in here if you don't have to. Who knows, I could get adopted . . . Or kicked out. Whenever that happens, I'll come be with you."  
  
"No, I wont accept that. I can't leave you Buffy."  
  
"You don't have a choice Spike. Its not like it's on my favourites list, but you don't have a choice. They'll make you go. You can't take on the law."  
  
"I will if it concerns you," Spike said. "I'm not just going to give up and leave you. I need you Buffy."  
  
"I need you too," Buffy said, taking his hand. "But we can't win this Spike."  
  
"I will never stop loving you."  
  
Buffy kissed his hand, "Me either."  
  
"William, are you ready?" his father asked, walking into the room.  
  
"I love you Buffy," he said, kissing her while tears slipped freely from his eyes.  
  
"I love you too . . . William."  
  
Spike stood up, still holding Buffy's hand. She didn't feel like she had any energy left in her body, she couldn't move. As Spike disappeared out of the door, tears fell from Buffy's eyes like a waterfall. She could hear Spike yelling at his parents, at Marge, at everyone and some things crash. She knew one thing: that wasn't the end of them. 


End file.
